100 Rambles on Morally Bankrupt.

Welcome to our 100th post! It's taken us less than a year to manage this and I have to say that if it wasn't for me, there would be far less useless junk up here. Still, 100 posts is a landmark of sorts and we should make the effort to celebrate it properly. Without further ado, I give you the Morally Bankrupt posting pole!

Salem: 76 (including this post)
Kahn: 12
Frejak: 6
Crumples: 4
Kallisar: 1
Ashenphoenix: 1
Sara_Jayne: 0
Sierra Julliette: 0
Visure: 0

As you can see, I have no life at all when compared to everyone else. On the up side, we have a competition to keep us all entertained. You get 3 votes a piece for your favourite posts, use them wisely. A first place vote gets 5 points, a second place vote gets 3 and a third place vote gets 1. Just post your votes in the comments section of this post. When voting closes, I'll tally up the scores and the winner will get the highly coveted "Morally Bankrupt Plaque". Now, I know that I have an unfair advantage in that I've posted 76% of the stuff up here but fear not, if I win the prize goes to the person in second place. Please try not to vote for yourself as that's just a little tacky in my opinion. If you want to vote for the same person more than once that's fine, just not for the same post more than once. Also, if you feel that you would like to award a post with something special in the form of an honourable mention (such as "Most Pointless" or "Best Stolen Article" for example) then email those to me and I'll post them up alongside the competition results. Below is a list of all the previous posts by author, from their earliest post to their most recent.

Ashenphoenix:
A Sydney Morning Herald Article Slashdotted? Yeah. Right.

Kallisar:
Nuclear Destruction

Crumples:
For the love of sugary treats.
My Pubes Can Bend Light
The Tale Of The Ibi - A Collaborative Effort
I Walked Into A Door...

Frejak:
Machiavellian thoughts
Telephonic wonders
Delight
Only one smoke left and a full jar of Arnica
Disturbed
Frejak's rant of the week

Kahn:
Wii Moment in History
A Few too Many
MMO Update
A New Low
Happy Birthday Mum
It Begins Again
Part 1
This Week in the News
Fatty Fat Fat!!!
So I Says to Mabell I Says...
Sweet Zombie Hanuman
Quandary

Salem:
Rules of Engagement
World news and it's sad reflections.
The wonders of nothing
Dear, sweet, ZOMBIE Jesus!
Where there's Smokers, there's fire.
Personal Satisfaction
Urolagnia
When does the hurting stop?
The Prestige
Dodging the rules.
I win!
Remember the suit!
Sealab 2021
Time to get dirty
Last day
Update time
Huzzah for coffee
Mr. Crack Spider
Love-day? What the hell?
Bugatti Veyron - Breaking the Rules
Nicotine & Caffeine
Mel hacked his own Gibson!
A Personal Struggle
Death to the Sony and the media!
Versatility Plus
Paradox
Time for me to be funny again!
No Fishing
What the hell?
Just for Kahn.
What the hell is this?
J.C. isn't here man.
:D vs. D:
Whose House?
Ron's House!
Ше каи наs anфтнея cфld шая?
Only I may dance!
Another day, another... Gimme the god-damned cash!
That dog won't hunt Monsegnior.
American logic strikes again.
Fark-tastic!
Magic Hands! (and they're not mine for a change)
My new favorite attack!
Always outnumbered, never outgunned!
One more for the road...
Photosynth and Seadragon
The Ministry of Truth
Need some help?
Just a quick reminder
Rock Concert Movement #237:
Ill Niño - What Comes Around
The Red Swingline Stapler
Dead & Alive?
I are be presenting a Award!
Zombie Plan v1.0
New Blood
Say my name bitch! SAY IT!
May I redirect your attention please?
Excuse me dear, have you seen my quantum sledgehammer?
Zombie Plan v1.1
Where is your billboard now?
Death by Misadventure
Part 1.5?
World Zombie News
Video Killed the Blogger Star?
Scientific Holiday Time Approaches.
Sharp-Shooter
Dear god, why?
International Talk Like A Pirate Day
I Be Postin' Like A Pirate! Yarr!
Black Bear Attacks, Rapes, Zookeeper
Behold! 'The Kahn' Cometh!
And We're Back!
Fatass McBlobbicus
What's a Pogram anyhow?
100 Rambles on Morally Bankrupt.

Holy crap that was a lot of effort... that's like, over 100 links right there people! For those of us that didn't post, don't worry too much about it, there's always the next 100 in which to leave your mark! Anyhow, I hope you have all enjoyed your time here, be it as an active participant or just a regular reader. With any luck, this thing will keep going for a long time and you never know, one day someone the authors don't know may even read some of it. Thanks for contributing guys. I'm looking forward to a few hundred more rambles here on Morally Bankrupt.

-Salem
I'm not looking forward to having to do that every 100 posts let me tell you!

Quandary

At what point does the brain draw the line between Shadenfreude and empathy?

I'll pause here for a quick lesson:
Schadenfreude is a German word meaning 'pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune'. It has been borrowed by the English Language and it derives from Schaden (damage, harm) and Freude (joy). There is an English equivalent which is epicaricacy which is derived from the Greek epi (upon), chara (joy), and kakon (evil), but it doesn't feature much in the language anymore and you will be hard pressed to find it in a modern English dictionary.
Another phrase with a meaning similar to Schadenfreude is "morose delectation" ("delectatio morosa" in Latin), meaning "the habit of dwelling with enjoyment on evil thoughts". The medieval church taught that morose delectation is a sin.
In modern days we have been able to map images of Shadenfreude at work in the brain, and it is easy to feel the effects of the serotonin realeased, just think back to the news article of Captain Dan the Dwarf who accidently super glued his vacume cleaner to his groin.
I should mention at this time that we are balanced by the buddhist concept of mudita, "sympathetic joy" or "happiness in another's good fortune," which is an example of the opposite of schadenfreude.

Back to my orriginal questions:
With the fact that we can derive joy from others misfortune what makes our brains draw the line. I've posted several news articles now that have related to people either being in pain and embarisment like Captain Dan the Dwarf or just straight out dying. Deputy mayor of Delhi, death by monkey attack. 60 yr old woman killed by rambunctions pet cammel. Drunk guy nudes up and hops in with a bear, [surprisingly] gets eaten. Incredibly fat guy, forklifted to hospital.

All of these things highlighted schadenfreude for me, I found them hilarious. I admit I felt no simpathy for the dead or the embarised. I didn't know them and the situations were just too easy to mock.

I little while after I posted these items Salem posted a news article about a zoo keeper who went to feed a bear, the bear much like the above mentioned cammel got a little rambunctions and killed the zoo keeper. For some reason my schadenfreude didn't show, my sence of epicaricacy escaped me. I was horrified by this article, every sentence I read hammered home a feeling of revulsion and even sorrow for the poor man killed.

Why though did I feel this way. I don't know any zoo keepers, it certainly wasn't the action as I laughed at a simmilar action with the cammel. Could I not laugh at a bear related attack since i'd already posted one with a bear? Does everyone only get one? Was my schadenfreude just out of balance with my mudita? Did I need to see someone have good fortune before I could laugh at the zoo keeper?

Interestingly I mentioned this to Salem and he told me that he felt the same way about the fat guy post, he just found it repugnant.

This isn't something that I find disturbing just curious. Have you ever been in that situation, you see, read or hear something and you know others are amused by it but it just seems vulger to you?

Sweet Zombie Hanuman

For those of you who know me you know I like Monkeys. Well not monkeys themselves but the word monkeys amuses me. For that same reason Hanuman makes my brain twitch with amusement. Hanuman is the Hindu monkey god.

As such, devout Hindus believe that monkeys are the manifestation of Hanuman and will generally feed monkeys nuts and bananas when given the opportunity.

Now I know what seagulls are like when they get used to people throwing them the odd chip, I would imagine that monkeys are somewhat bolder and craftier, and they're be fed in a religious fevor, not surprising this has caused some issues.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7055625.stm

I just can pass up a news article that starts with the statement "The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys"

The second paragraph is good too, but I'll leave you to read that.

What I think I love the most though is the cities response to dealing with these wayward monkeys. Train bigger monkeys to beat up the monkeys causing a problem. How neat, how beautiful, and nothing could go wrong with the idea of training big monkeys to beat things up.

What's a Pogram anyhow?

This is just to remind us all why we love Shaun Micallef's comedy.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

-Salem
My Lord, forgive my unworthy crack, for my pantaloons are falling down.

I Walked Into A Door...

...OR I Am Not Paid Enough To…

Yesterday I walked into a door. It was a big door, a solid door, a metal door, heavy and swinging towards me when I hit it with my noggin. It really hurt. In fact, it still does but the bruise is hidden by my hair so it’s not that impressive (damn it!). I walked into this door when I was suffering from what I can only describe as impotent rage.

I am a receptionist. I sit at the front desk and smile at rich fat cats all day. I am a phone monkey. I pick up that ringing bitch and lie about peoplesis whereabouts. I am the beverage wench. If they want a drink, I get it - water, tea, coffee, milo, beer, wine, rum - and then I even wash the dishes afterwards.

Nowhere in my job description does it say “routinely be insulted by director’s drunken brother”. Nor does it say “observe directors drunken behavior and make important decisions regarding his ability to drive, the welfare of others and the police”. I can’t find the paragraph outlining the requirement to inform clients of what I am wearing or the need to acknowledge what they would like to do to me (which most of the time is take me out for lunch, but frequently it isn’t).

So yesterday, shaking with rage as I considered the treatment that it seems I am expected to tolerate, I didn’t see the door, and smacked my self fair in the head with it.

I’m thinking of asking for a pay rise.

Fatass McBlobbicus

Not that you care, but I have to be at work in 3 hours. This is ok though since Frejak recently presented me with the Sealab 2021 DVD. To celebrate, I've been using this Hookah in a drug free way and eating fajitas. They're freakin' delicolus. It would have been better if the Shanks boys could have joined me, but since the untimely death of Achilles, Hercules, Odysseus, Perseus, and the twins Castor & Pollux, only Bellerophon could make it. Even so, we drank until we were fightin' drunk and beat the asses of the disbelievers.

Point is, I'm having a very Sealab week and so I'm off on an undersea holiday. I'll be stopping at Sealabia, Heshopolis, Sparkopolis, Pod-Sixia, Quinland, Quin-Sixia and anywhere else that looks interesting. I'll be the one eating the Shrabster. Sniff you jerks later.

-Salem
It burns with the power of shark!
...Cincinnati Hotplate.

The Tale Of The Ibi - A Collaborative Effort

By Crumples and The Masked Lara

In the beginning there was the wily Ibis, so called for his love of the Dolmio Pesto pasta sauce, and the subsequent wily ways in which he tried to obtain it.

The wily Ibis begat the Two Ibi, Wi and Ly.
Wi and Ly roamed the earth, begating here and there many an Ibi, and searching for that most elusive thing - their purpose in the world. Surly we, awash in a sea of possibilities, can empathize with the wandering Ibi and their plight. Ibi were not for eating nor for playing, they did not sing, or dance, they could not sell door to door, nor did they have the ability to ride bicycles thus they could not work as couriers or paper boys, or in fact become olympic cyclists, extreme mountain bikers or world BMX champions.

If only they knew that their sweet, sweet milk was my one and only inspiration, and that for many others like my self, uninspired and desolate, they could have become milky Ibi muses.....perhaps then the following events would not have occurred.

The milky gift of the Ibi was instead discovered by a shifty business man called Hal. Unable to feel the effects of their inspiration, as he had not a romantic or artistic bone in his body, he still realised the profitable potential of the Ibi and he milked them for their juice. The milky discharge was then aged in barrels lined with the feathers of one hundred Ibi virgins. The resulting pungent, rubbery cheese he named after himself, Hal Oumi. The cheese was sweet and the money was made, but at what cost? The Ibi could not survive the vigorous milking and, as quickly as he came, my Ibi muse disappeared, thus depriving me of ever again suckling at his feathery teat of inspiration.

How I wish I could once again make the offering of Dolmio Pesto pasta sauce. Oh, how I long to be reacquainted with his downy bosom, to be filled with and cocooned in my milky reward, to feel the soft caress of his of his hook like beak on my scalp once again. I shall not forget the Ibi, nor shall I stop singing his tale, forever more, wherever I go, I take the Ibi with me.

And We're Back!

Not that anyone would really have noticed, but most of us here at MB have been away at a wedding. Frejak, Visure, Crumples and myself have spent a rousing week down on the lovely mid-north coast of New South Wales. It was a lot of fun (and a lot of hard work) but on the whole, well worth the effort. Kahn and Kallisar joined us for the last 3 days of our stay and the wedding itself was beautiful.

Now we're all back, I expect that we'll get back to posting random things here and there, but for me personally, I'll have to get back into the swing of things before I start creating any works of genius that will echo down the halls of time. Give me time, I'm sure I'm building up to something, you'll see.

-Salem
Do you think we can get grass seeds to germinate and grow on an animated zombie?