Nuclear Destruction

OK.....this is a continuation from my comments on the Wonders of Nothing post.

"More details will follow when i have more time, or even better when all the customers are dead, buried and the nuclear holocaust wipes out the rest of you retard monkeys. Gahahhhhhhh an hour of training idiots **sob** Kill me quickly " Kallisar 5/12/06 2:58pm

This began like any normal day, much complaining from customers the usual bored and apathetic responses from the techs. Then out of the blue a new job.....something bright and shiny to complete my day.......New Techs!!!!. Such a rare and beautiful creature (OK so that is a horrible lie especially where we tend to churn through techs like fat people and twinkies) and i have been given the sweet task of teaching them something. Ahhh wonders will never cease to amaze me. However I am digressing, Teaching these techs is not simply like clubbing seals, no that that easy at all and when I say tech I am not implying that these new staff members are techs from previous roles but are labelled techs due to the role that they are in. So I am teaching "I used to be a professional photographer" "IPX/SPX is the best protocol" and "I am tall, what more do I need", the combined knowledge of these people has enough mass to have sunk the titanic and boring enough to make me consider doing some work. Needless to say upon beginning to teach the very simple task of logging into the phone system and setting up the preferences the questions start coming.

Mr" I am Tall, what more do I need" asks me "If we don't log into the phone system what happens" a fair enough question which I replied with " You will not get paid ", what then proceeded to hurt my training ability was this gem "What about if I log in as someone else" Well let me see " You would give them more money and you would be paid nothing" ......."But nothing is stopping me do this is there". I began to pray that this was a cosmic joke, that the stars and all the planets were looking down and laughing, but he was looking at me with such interesting and with such a dopey "Look mah, no hands" expression that I realised he was dead serious. I did what any decent tech would do in this situation, " You should do that then".

Mr "I used to be a professional photographer" was a little more interesting with his great thoughts of "I have taken photos of hot chicks" now normally I am more than happy to sit down and talk about the benefits of good looking ladies, however the next words floored me much like a bulldozer and a tin shed, "Shame they are mostly my cousins". I was flabbergasted, not only was he taking very very sexy photos ofhis family members but he was showing them around with not a care in the world. Sure you might say they are only his cousins, but I am not about to speak to those people who live in Ipswich or Toowoomba.

I would love to say that that these were the only pieces of stupidity that I had to deal with but as I am sure you are aware I have to deal with end users and thus they continue to punish me for humanities crimes.

The pain of torment is so strong right now I am going to take a break and leave you considering this gem of a thought "If a customer dies in the woods , do the techs care?"