News Flash!

I bought a Cherry Coke today. It was important that you all had access to that vitally important piece of information. It looks something like this:

'Cherry-Cola' as I like to call it.

-Salem
Bringing you the most thrilling news you'll ever read.

well well well, will ya looky here...

Hey, Crumples - back on the blog, been a while, hu?
I don't work now, so, you know, I don't have to fill my days with interwebs and small sculptures made out of paper clips.
I am fortunate enough to be ill. And I timed it nicely with Salems week off! So he and I have been eating corn fritters, smoking, and generally shooting the shit. That is when i'm not lying down in tiny agony from my freaking kidneys, this is when he trys to kill the robot, and guess what? he finally did it! Bravo Salem, bravo. Well, i think by the pain in my back, up time is over, i'm gonna go lie down with Snow Crash, probably fall asleep after 3 pages (damn it!) and wait till the beloved Kahn gets home and hugs me. YAY! Infact Frejak should hug me too. Not too low. Not. Too. Low.

First Annual Award for Cigarette Packaging Excellence

So here we are again for the first time at the First Annual Award for Cigarette Packaging Excellence. Give it up for the awesomeness that is the advertising genius of the death dealing cigarette companies!


First off, an honourable mention goes to... Skydancer Menthol's!Not only do they taste like a cool mountain stream, they have one pictured right there on the front of the box! Way to go guys.

Kamel Reds came in at the bottom of the pack (get it? Pack... like a cigarette pack... ok shut up now). They have a wonderfully... eye catching redness about them. Yes... very good.
Moving right along, the lovely Sandia. They come in red, blue, green, light blue, light green... they just come in a fuck load of colours ok? They do have some nice mountains on them though, so they have that going for them.
Seneca... how the fuck do you say that? I don't know, do you? Who cares, they have more pretty mountains done in silver foil and that's really what we care about.
Desert Sun has the next pack of coolness. We like the cactus in the setting desert sun. Enough said.
The next is an old favorite in joke circles I'm sure, you know the name... Smokin' Joes! They have the most garish packaging we've ever seen and boy! Don't the kids just love 'em!
Tucson have a very nice look to them. Very Texas Ranger if you know what I mean (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Confused? Well that's ok. I don't get it either.
This is a little disappointing as Salem brand cigarettes didn't quite make it to first place. Still it does show that I'm not playing favorites here, they really do just have an awesome pack. Let's see what a pack of Crumples looks like huh? Yeah, that's right, Salems are the almost winner!
And the winner is.... Nat Shermans! Sure is lucky we didn't judge by name I suppose. Either way, they have the best pack around and the cigarettes that are held within are just as classy. Black with a gold foil filter! How good is that? Pretty fuckin' good is at least how good that is. I'm going to get some.
Ok, we do have one last treat for you. The "Most likely to kill you with just a single one of their unspeakable death sticks!" award. We found these hiding away in the back and at a massive 20.5mg per cigarette, they're sure to knock the air out of you. Not sure which end though. May just bust a hole right in the side of your rib cage. So you know, these are about twice the strength of our sponsored Davidoff classics. Hard hitting, you bet your peace-pipe smoking indians they are!
I hope you have all enjoyed this glimps into the wonderful world of cigarette packaging. Take care folks!

-Salem
How about we take a 5 minute break... smoke if you got 'em.

My thought for the day

Its 11:12pm, everyone else has gone to bed, the wonderful bundle of teething - still cute, i've just had a lovely j and looking at the view.

Anyone whos knows my parents place will know exactly where I'm talking about. Looking out my window I can see across the day bed. With the moon becoming fuller and a magical clear night, the night itself is lit with moonlight almost as clear as day. Due to the still freezing temperature and night moisture there is the most amazing mist bank in the valley.

To give a good idea of just how huge this mist bank is. If you're sitting on the day bed and look down the bottom of the cleared area at the tree line just down from the rise. That tree line is where the mist is starting.

It is so thick and heavy that it appears in the light that you could walk on it. Ever since I could remember I always believed that you could walk on it and it would take you to where ever you wanted to go. Its not hard to see there I read alot of fantasy when I was young. I only ever tried once, hurt alot .........and thats something completely different and not what I'm talking about right now.

So, theres the view I have at the moment. Absolutly gorgeous and I've loved it all my life.
Got me thinking how much I love my view of the city from the balcony at home. I'm truely fascinated by it and could sit for hours just looking at it.

Both views are very cool in their own way, yet I sit here wanting to be looking at the other.

Don't get me wrong, I've had fun and its been great to be with my folks. But I'd like to come home now.

Opa and Oma

Well today I found myself thinking of my departed grandparents. For obvious reasons actually as I saw them peaking out at me from a corner of the house.

Admittedly it was a little odd when I realised that my grandparents were hiding in a pillowcase next to the fireplace but hey, where else are they going to be I guess.

So for everyone else I'd like you to meet my Opa and Oma in their current home - the pillowcase.

Its damn cold

Sometimes I wonder at my own intelligence.

I have a week off work and where do i decide to spend it? In Coramba at my folks place where this morning it had an inch of frost and its now 6 damn degrees outside.

Random thoughts of perhaps Frejak you could have spent this at home where you can chill out in less than 3 layers of clothes and then at night instead of having to have so many blankets that you can't actually move in bed you could curl up with warm boyfriend? But no I have to go to somewhere nice and chilly.

However there is a good side. The fires on, my dad and myself picked a bucket of macadamias off the tree and have been sitting in front the smashing the nuts open, eating them and then throwing the shells into the fire. Watching my tiny little newphew have a stare off comp with the fish, its an oscar and the last of three. I think it ate the others. Still no clear winner on that one yet. I'm not quite certain what my mum and sister have been doing, they've been doing something but whatever it doesn't make sense to me.

Mainly I've been sleeping in front of the fire.

Oh yeah and I made my newphew cry. How you ask? On the drive down this morning, he woke up when we got the the gold coast and heard me mumbling along to Static X. He must have recognised my voice cause hes looked over at me with eyes wide and a smile. Stopped, looked at me and burst into tears.

Real nice at 8am. Evidently he doesn't know me with orange hair. Doesn't know me ???? He's 4 months old. He doesn't really know anyone yet.

So theres my excitment for the day and now at least my fingers are kinda warm from typing so thats a good thing. And that as far as I'm concerned is worth it.