I really just wanted to test out Blogger's new video functionality. If this works, expect to see more cool clips in the future.
-Salem
If only he'd married Simon Pegg...
Friday 31 August 2007
Wednesday 29 August 2007
World Zombie News
I'm starting to feel like it's my duty to keep everyone informed about the latest developments in world zombie events. Today, we have a new movie coming out. You can read some interesting info about surrounding events here. Now this movie, The Zombie Diaries, is being promoted as a work of fiction, but I've heard on the grape-vine that this may be more accurately called a documentary. I'll be heading along to see if these guys have anything that I can incorporate into my own zombie plan.
-Salem
Stay tuned for the Late Zombie News at 10:00pm. I'm Ron Burgundy?
-Salem
Stay tuned for the Late Zombie News at 10:00pm. I'm Ron Burgundy?
Thursday 23 August 2007
This Week in the News
Well as some of you may know it has been an interesting and hilarious week in the news. Here are just some of the fantastic things to have happened this week:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20347997/
A 60 year old Brisbane woman was killed by a pet camel that was given to her as a birthday present. Not getting the funny bit? Here you are the camel killed the woman by sitting on her in what is expected to have been a mating ritual.
The fate of the camel is not known.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
A 23 year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
It was suggested that the guy was either drunk, or on drugs, or at the very least an idiot. My money is on all three. Consider your own checkered past. There’s a good chance that you’ve been drunk at one time, on drugs at one time, and even an idiot at one time. But I’ll bet you never climbed into a bear’s cage. For that sort of thing, you usually need the trifecta: drunk, stupid, and on LSD.
I say “usually” because you don’t absolutely need to be drunk, stupid and on LSD. You could also be religious. There was a similar story last year, where a guy climbed into a lion’s cage and yelled something about God protecting him. That turned out to be bad luck. The guy managed to find the ONE lion that God loves more than people.
Now before you accuse me of making fun of religious people or start wondering why I am since I am a religious person, I am not saying that every believer will allow himself to be eaten by a lion. What I’m saying is that sometimes it could be a bear. And sometime they know not to be quite so zelous.
The best part of the bear-eats-man story is that the police found several cell phones and beer cans in the bear’s cage. That leads me to believe this could be a talking bear, and he’s a repeat offender.
Also curious in the article they mention as I have above the his clothes were off and intact, but make no further reference as to why that would be. I wonder what a talking bear offers to intice such actions.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20227400/site/newsweek/
In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."
Simply brilliant don't you think.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070820/od_afp/entertainmentbritain
A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf was embarrassed by the accident, yet he was not embarrassed by his regular act. This implies that there is a NON-embarrassing way to hump a vacuum cleaner in front of a crowd. If you aren’t curious to see Captain Dan’s act now, you’re dead inside.
I wonder if Captain Dan has trouble getting girls. On one hand, he’s famous. That must help. And the ladies do love a man with dust-free nuts. He’s got that working for him. On the other hand, when you have a Hoover doing a Clinton on your Johnson five nights a week, it sets the bar high. His girlfriends must be tired of hearing “Seriously. Have you even started yet?”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20347997/
A 60 year old Brisbane woman was killed by a pet camel that was given to her as a birthday present. Not getting the funny bit? Here you are the camel killed the woman by sitting on her in what is expected to have been a mating ritual.
The fate of the camel is not known.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
A 23 year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
It was suggested that the guy was either drunk, or on drugs, or at the very least an idiot. My money is on all three. Consider your own checkered past. There’s a good chance that you’ve been drunk at one time, on drugs at one time, and even an idiot at one time. But I’ll bet you never climbed into a bear’s cage. For that sort of thing, you usually need the trifecta: drunk, stupid, and on LSD.
I say “usually” because you don’t absolutely need to be drunk, stupid and on LSD. You could also be religious. There was a similar story last year, where a guy climbed into a lion’s cage and yelled something about God protecting him. That turned out to be bad luck. The guy managed to find the ONE lion that God loves more than people.
Now before you accuse me of making fun of religious people or start wondering why I am since I am a religious person, I am not saying that every believer will allow himself to be eaten by a lion. What I’m saying is that sometimes it could be a bear. And sometime they know not to be quite so zelous.
The best part of the bear-eats-man story is that the police found several cell phones and beer cans in the bear’s cage. That leads me to believe this could be a talking bear, and he’s a repeat offender.
Also curious in the article they mention as I have above the his clothes were off and intact, but make no further reference as to why that would be. I wonder what a talking bear offers to intice such actions.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20227400/site/newsweek/
In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."
Simply brilliant don't you think.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070820/od_afp/entertainmentbritain
A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf was embarrassed by the accident, yet he was not embarrassed by his regular act. This implies that there is a NON-embarrassing way to hump a vacuum cleaner in front of a crowd. If you aren’t curious to see Captain Dan’s act now, you’re dead inside.
I wonder if Captain Dan has trouble getting girls. On one hand, he’s famous. That must help. And the ladies do love a man with dust-free nuts. He’s got that working for him. On the other hand, when you have a Hoover doing a Clinton on your Johnson five nights a week, it sets the bar high. His girlfriends must be tired of hearing “Seriously. Have you even started yet?”
Part 1.5?
"You must kill him, he knows you too well and you will be useless to us if you cannot out maneuver our enemies. If you are useless, then it will be you that is left as food for the worms!"
A cold chill ran up his spine as she hissed out her words. What she was asking wasn't easy, but if he refused, they would hunt him down for eternity. He regretted that it had come to this. Being asked to hunt down the one man whom he had ever truly been able to call a friend brought a bitter coppery taste in his mouth.
"I shall go and find him."
"Be quick in you task and do not return until you can put his teeth into my hand."
He turned quickly, the folds of his cloak billowing behind him in his haste to be gone from the presence of this spiteful being. The flaps that served as the tent's entrance fell closed and the cold damp air of the night clung to him. What little heat he still held in his slender fame was leached out within moments. He did not shiver, the chilling of his flesh couldn't match the glacial freeze he felt in his heart. He knew what he had to do. Regrets would mean nothing to him if he was dead and he had felt nothing but the touch of death since that wretched woman had come to him three nights ago. Her promises had seemed to good to be true, then she had shown him and by then it was too late.
As he marched across the campsite, he could feel his sword hanging heavily against his leg. A few troops from the watch noticed his passing and saluted but he paid them little attention. Ten minutes later, he came to a small clearing. A single tent stood off to one side and a dim light could be seen within. He had expected nothing less, and was glad that the man inside was still awake. Without saying a word, he pulled aside the canvas and stepped in.
"I've been waiting for you."
The man on the bed had his sword out and resting across his lap. In one hand he still held the cloth that he had been using to clean the grime of battle from it's mirrored surface.
"Then you know why I'm here too I suppose?"
"You've been sent to kill me no doubt?"
"Will you ever be able to let me keep a thought to myself?"
"Not in this lifetime my friend."
The two looked at each other. Everything they had known up till now seemed to have been shattered. A few nights ago, they had been part of the same army, fighting for the same King but now they had been thrust into a different world. They both new their orders to kill each other were final and that if they were to go back, the other would have to die.
"Well then, if you know my mind so well you should be ready."
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
"Then let's get this over with. I don't want this to be any more painful than it has to be."
The two walked out of the tent and away from the edge of the camp. A few miles out, they both stopped. Reaching behind two different piles of rocks, they both pulled out small packs.
"You were right, this is going to be painful. I hate having to walk, we should have brought horses."
Pipe shook his head and sighed. With a slight smirk on his face, he looked over at his friend.
"What I'm worried about is how I'm going to manage to put up with your bad jokes for the rest of my damned life."
Xander laughed and threw his pack over his shoulder. Without glancing back, the two started walking towards the nearest town. How anyone had thought that they would have done anything other than what they had was a mystery to them both.
A cold chill ran up his spine as she hissed out her words. What she was asking wasn't easy, but if he refused, they would hunt him down for eternity. He regretted that it had come to this. Being asked to hunt down the one man whom he had ever truly been able to call a friend brought a bitter coppery taste in his mouth.
"I shall go and find him."
"Be quick in you task and do not return until you can put his teeth into my hand."
He turned quickly, the folds of his cloak billowing behind him in his haste to be gone from the presence of this spiteful being. The flaps that served as the tent's entrance fell closed and the cold damp air of the night clung to him. What little heat he still held in his slender fame was leached out within moments. He did not shiver, the chilling of his flesh couldn't match the glacial freeze he felt in his heart. He knew what he had to do. Regrets would mean nothing to him if he was dead and he had felt nothing but the touch of death since that wretched woman had come to him three nights ago. Her promises had seemed to good to be true, then she had shown him and by then it was too late.
As he marched across the campsite, he could feel his sword hanging heavily against his leg. A few troops from the watch noticed his passing and saluted but he paid them little attention. Ten minutes later, he came to a small clearing. A single tent stood off to one side and a dim light could be seen within. He had expected nothing less, and was glad that the man inside was still awake. Without saying a word, he pulled aside the canvas and stepped in.
"I've been waiting for you."
The man on the bed had his sword out and resting across his lap. In one hand he still held the cloth that he had been using to clean the grime of battle from it's mirrored surface.
"Then you know why I'm here too I suppose?"
"You've been sent to kill me no doubt?"
"Will you ever be able to let me keep a thought to myself?"
"Not in this lifetime my friend."
The two looked at each other. Everything they had known up till now seemed to have been shattered. A few nights ago, they had been part of the same army, fighting for the same King but now they had been thrust into a different world. They both new their orders to kill each other were final and that if they were to go back, the other would have to die.
"Well then, if you know my mind so well you should be ready."
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
"Then let's get this over with. I don't want this to be any more painful than it has to be."
The two walked out of the tent and away from the edge of the camp. A few miles out, they both stopped. Reaching behind two different piles of rocks, they both pulled out small packs.
"You were right, this is going to be painful. I hate having to walk, we should have brought horses."
Pipe shook his head and sighed. With a slight smirk on his face, he looked over at his friend.
"What I'm worried about is how I'm going to manage to put up with your bad jokes for the rest of my damned life."
Xander laughed and threw his pack over his shoulder. Without glancing back, the two started walking towards the nearest town. How anyone had thought that they would have done anything other than what they had was a mystery to them both.
Wednesday 22 August 2007
Part 1
The voice was full of rage. Full of righteous fury. Full of vengeance.
'Do you remember?'
He remembered. Centuries had past but he remembered.
Do you remember?
The youngest son, the spare spare.
Do you remember?
The third son, always weaker, always smaller.
Do you remember?
Nothing to inherit, nothing to offer, nothing to gain.
Do you remember?
Oh how he remembered.
The fear, the frustration. The Dreams. Like calls to like.
He remembered the day they met. So similar. He remembered the days that they planned. So elegant.
Oh how he remembered
The reflection in the mirror. Bloodied, broken. The praise of the father to the first. The sneer, the only acknowledgement for him. For the third.
If you beat a dog, you gain a beast. Fearsome. Mindless. A fate that he would not allow. The thought that was not his own. Monster you must be, lest monster you become.
Oh how he remembered
Like calls to like, and together dreams were made flesh. So simple, so elegant. The third became the second. The second became the first. No suspicion. No questions. How simple, how elegant. How vicious.
Do you remember?
He remembered. But that was a long time ago. When he was human. Centuries had past.
A moment had past.
He smiled. Cold. Vicious. Sadistic.
'Monster', the voice that was righteous had turned to dread.
'Monsters we are lest monsters we become. Your little tricks of faith will not aid you Hunter.'
With blinding speed he reach out. A short sharp snap sounded into the night.
Out of the shadows another steped and stood beside him looking down at the body with a smirk.
Like calls to like
'Well Xander, one less pain in the ass. Mind you I do miss having a good challenge like back in the olden days, remember them?'
'Yes, I do.'
'Do you remember?'
He remembered. Centuries had past but he remembered.
Do you remember?
The youngest son, the spare spare.
Do you remember?
The third son, always weaker, always smaller.
Do you remember?
Nothing to inherit, nothing to offer, nothing to gain.
Do you remember?
Oh how he remembered.
The fear, the frustration. The Dreams. Like calls to like.
He remembered the day they met. So similar. He remembered the days that they planned. So elegant.
Oh how he remembered
The reflection in the mirror. Bloodied, broken. The praise of the father to the first. The sneer, the only acknowledgement for him. For the third.
If you beat a dog, you gain a beast. Fearsome. Mindless. A fate that he would not allow. The thought that was not his own. Monster you must be, lest monster you become.
Oh how he remembered
Like calls to like, and together dreams were made flesh. So simple, so elegant. The third became the second. The second became the first. No suspicion. No questions. How simple, how elegant. How vicious.
Do you remember?
He remembered. But that was a long time ago. When he was human. Centuries had past.
A moment had past.
He smiled. Cold. Vicious. Sadistic.
'Monster', the voice that was righteous had turned to dread.
'Monsters we are lest monsters we become. Your little tricks of faith will not aid you Hunter.'
With blinding speed he reach out. A short sharp snap sounded into the night.
Out of the shadows another steped and stood beside him looking down at the body with a smirk.
Like calls to like
'Well Xander, one less pain in the ass. Mind you I do miss having a good challenge like back in the olden days, remember them?'
'Yes, I do.'
Tuesday 21 August 2007
Death by Misadventure
If I was planning on being buried, that's what I would want on my tombstone. It would be an epic work of the blackest granite with 'Death by Misadventure' in towering gold letters. The angle would be set so that in the evenings, just as the last rays of the sun pass over it, the whole of it seems to burn with an inner fire and when the moon takes the place of the sun, the pale beams catch on the myriad of hidden glyphs, highlighting the true unearthly beauty of such a statement. Yes indeed, it would be a wonder to behold and a fitting sentiment to match my somewhat strange and mysterious life.
Ok, that may be a little dramatic, but it's the kind of remark that makes you think in epic terms. You're probably wondering what I'm on about, so I'll fill you in a little. In previous centuries, particularly in the 1800's I believe, when somebody, anybody died due to either an accident or via an inexplicable occurrence, quite often their death certificate listed cause of death as 'Death by Misadventure'. I'm unsure if this practice is still in use, but with medical and forensic science advancing as it is, I find it unlikely. Anyhow, sometimes other things which may have caused a family some embarrassment or scandal (such as a family member committing suicide) would also be listed as 'Death by Misadventure'. The list of things that would become DBM on a death certificate is quite impressive and unless you know the actual way in which a person died, it can really leave you with a sense of wonder and perhaps even a little in awe of what their life must have been like for them to finally succumb to the deadly clutches of this dreaded misadventure. In a sense, they were nobler times because a misfortune such as suicide was gently nudged aside by a physician and a verdict of DBM in order to spare the family in it's time of grief. In another sense it was a golden time for murderers as with one well placed bribe to the attending physician, 'Death by a knife wound to the throat' became 'Death by Misadventure' and may never be investigated.
My point was however that it invokes a sense of the mysterious and doesn't require the mind to dwell on the horrible facts of death. I like that. I have in my family tree someone whose death was deemed to be a DBM. I have no idea if he was worth thinking about really, but I'm far more curious about his life than many of my other ancestors simply because of that. I'm sure that it was probably something like he got drunk and fell face first into his evening porridge and drowned, but because I have no way of finding out, he will always be at least a little enigmatic to my way of thinking. For now I imagine that he died during a daring raid of some Faustian pit below the earth, where evil cultists were sacrificing the fair maidens from his nearby town to unspeakably evil gods, and although he gave up his life in that unholy place, the plans of his enemies were thwarted due to his heroic efforts that brought the whole complex down upon their accursed heads.
If history had not come up with such a marvellous idea as DBM (which is simply adored by literature), I can safely say that none of it would have been even remotely as interesting as it actually is. When I die, that's what I want listed as my cause of death. I don't care if all the other grisly details are listed on an attached sheet, giving readouts of blood toxins and the various conditions of random body parts, just as long as on the short version it reads:
Name: LeSerne, Salem S.
Cause of Death: Death by Misadventure
D.O.B: 1980
Age: 35
Or something like that anyway. I think it's a vastly more dignified way to go and if I must at some point shuffle off this mortal coil, then I would at least like to do it with some style. I don't really plan on dying at all mind you, so I can assure you that my DBM won't be a hushed up suicide. Even if it was though, you're not likely to find out from my death certificate and that's the part that I'm so enamoured of. One last chance to leave people guessing.
-Salem
Life by Misadventure. Ahh the stories I could tell you!
Ok, that may be a little dramatic, but it's the kind of remark that makes you think in epic terms. You're probably wondering what I'm on about, so I'll fill you in a little. In previous centuries, particularly in the 1800's I believe, when somebody, anybody died due to either an accident or via an inexplicable occurrence, quite often their death certificate listed cause of death as 'Death by Misadventure'. I'm unsure if this practice is still in use, but with medical and forensic science advancing as it is, I find it unlikely. Anyhow, sometimes other things which may have caused a family some embarrassment or scandal (such as a family member committing suicide) would also be listed as 'Death by Misadventure'. The list of things that would become DBM on a death certificate is quite impressive and unless you know the actual way in which a person died, it can really leave you with a sense of wonder and perhaps even a little in awe of what their life must have been like for them to finally succumb to the deadly clutches of this dreaded misadventure. In a sense, they were nobler times because a misfortune such as suicide was gently nudged aside by a physician and a verdict of DBM in order to spare the family in it's time of grief. In another sense it was a golden time for murderers as with one well placed bribe to the attending physician, 'Death by a knife wound to the throat' became 'Death by Misadventure' and may never be investigated.
My point was however that it invokes a sense of the mysterious and doesn't require the mind to dwell on the horrible facts of death. I like that. I have in my family tree someone whose death was deemed to be a DBM. I have no idea if he was worth thinking about really, but I'm far more curious about his life than many of my other ancestors simply because of that. I'm sure that it was probably something like he got drunk and fell face first into his evening porridge and drowned, but because I have no way of finding out, he will always be at least a little enigmatic to my way of thinking. For now I imagine that he died during a daring raid of some Faustian pit below the earth, where evil cultists were sacrificing the fair maidens from his nearby town to unspeakably evil gods, and although he gave up his life in that unholy place, the plans of his enemies were thwarted due to his heroic efforts that brought the whole complex down upon their accursed heads.
If history had not come up with such a marvellous idea as DBM (which is simply adored by literature), I can safely say that none of it would have been even remotely as interesting as it actually is. When I die, that's what I want listed as my cause of death. I don't care if all the other grisly details are listed on an attached sheet, giving readouts of blood toxins and the various conditions of random body parts, just as long as on the short version it reads:
Name: LeSerne, Salem S.
Cause of Death: Death by Misadventure
D.O.B: 1980
Age: 35
Or something like that anyway. I think it's a vastly more dignified way to go and if I must at some point shuffle off this mortal coil, then I would at least like to do it with some style. I don't really plan on dying at all mind you, so I can assure you that my DBM won't be a hushed up suicide. Even if it was though, you're not likely to find out from my death certificate and that's the part that I'm so enamoured of. One last chance to leave people guessing.
-Salem
Life by Misadventure. Ahh the stories I could tell you!
Monday 20 August 2007
Zombie Plan v1.1
Has this ever happened to you?
Well it still hasn't happened to me yet either. It's ok though, Zombie Plan v1.0 is still waiting in the wings. This is just a quick addendum so I can't be accused of forgetting anyone. Turns out that some of the people that have heard about our zombie plan are thinking that we may be on to something. That's fair because I can assure you that we are on to something. As such, we may have a more crowded house than I first thought. Our newest member, Sierra Julliette has decided that we're so well prepared that she'll be making her way over on her dirt-bike. I'm ok with this to be truthful. Anyone with even minor Moto-X abilities has a marketable skill when it comes to a zombie apocalypse. Let's hope she can make it to HQ without getting zombified. Good luck and welcome aboard.
We also may need to add one of my co-workers (I understands that she wishes to be known here as Crumples), this is mostly because I just don't trust the flimsy walls of her house to withstand even a glancing blow from a zombie baby, let alone a full sized one. The hard part here will be getting her through the door as our own zombie butler (a lovely chap that goes only by the name of Victor), creeps her out a bit and I can only see that getting worse during an assault from the walking dead. Still, she's tough, so I'm sure that when it comes time to decide which is worse, Victor or having her brains eaten, that she'll be able to overcome any misgivings about our butler.
With the extra newcomers, I'm sure we'll have to develop a few extra rules and maybe step up our supply raiding plans, but these are minor things. One of us will go into a bit of detail when we have a clearer idea of how the adjustments need to be handled. We're a capable kind of group so I think we're up to the challenge. My only worry now stems from a decreasing space-per-person outlook. I'm going to have to go with Frejak and Kahn though on this one as they are already formulating plans to bridge the gap between our own lovely home and the house nextdoor. Be sure to stay on the lookout for Zombie Plan v1.2 in the near future.
-Salem
Come to Zombaid! Help us raise funds to complete our Zombie Fort.
Friday 17 August 2007
Excuse me dear, have you seen my quantum sledgehammer?
Ok, I nicked this one too, but I had to. I love quantum physics, quantum mechanics, in fact, let's just say I love quantum stuff. I find the study of the universe at this level to be immensely interesting and thus, I don't see why everyone else in the world shouldn't. That said, here's an article about some scientists that think they may have discovered a way to make some photons break the speed of light. Of course, Einstein isn't going to like that, but I'm sure Newton is pretty happy about it...
Scientists claim to break light-speed barrier
German scientists claim to have broken the light-speed barrier, which could blow away the known limitations of modern networking, but the technology is unlikely to make it into a product--if at all--until most administrators working today have retired.
Exceeding the speed of light, approximately 300,000km per second, is supposed to be completely impossible. According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, it would take an infinite amount of energy to accelerate an object through the light barrier.
But two German physicists claim to have forced light to overcome its own speed limit using the strange phenomenon known as "quantum tunneling."
Gunter Nimtz, one of the physicists from the University of Koblenz, told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of."
However, the scientists' claims should be treated with some skepticism until they have been investigated by the wider scientific community, according to Dr. Kevin McIsaac, an analyst at Sydney-based firm IBRS, who holds a PhD in theoretical atomic physics.
"From time to time we do hear about these interesting experiments, often by well-meaning scientists. But, until this has been validated by the scientific community, you want to treat it with some skepticism," said McIsaac.
"To date, all indications are that no information can travel faster than the speed of light. There are some experiments that indicate you can have interactions that appear to be faster than the speed of light but you still can't transmit information faster than the speed of light," said McIsaac.
The scientists set up an experiment in which microwave photons--energetic packets of light--appeared to travel "instantaneously" between two prisms forming the halves of a cube placed a meter apart.
When the prisms were placed together, photons fired at one edge passed straight through them, as expected. After they were moved apart, most of the photons reflected off the first prism they encountered and were picked up by a detector. But a few photons appeared to "tunnel" through the gap separating them as if the prisms were still held together.
Although these photons had traveled a longer distance, they arrived at their detector at exactly the same time as the reflected photons. In effect, they seemed to have traveled faster than light.
Quantum tunneling is a well known phenomenon that occurs as a direct result of the strange uncertainty which pervades nature at very small scales. It allows subatomic particles to break apparently unbreakable barriers.
Even if the discovery turns out to be real, IBRS's McIsaac isn't convinced that it could be turned into a useful product: "About 15 or 20 years ago a scientist claimed to have discovered cold fusion... but still nothing has happened. One of the big promises has been quantum computing and we still don't have it. Also, photonic computing — we still don't have that either."
"So, frankly, I would suggest that anybody who is an administrator today probably won't see this till they have retired," McIsaac said.
Quantum tunneling
To understand the principle of quantum tunneling, consider a ball being bowled up a hill. If the ball has insufficient velocity, it will not roll over the top of the hill and appear on the other side. But, if the ball was a subatomic particle, subject to quantum laws, it would also behave like a wave.
The "wave function" describing the particle would represent the probability of finding it at a certain location. This wave could extend to the other side of the hill, meaning there will always be a small possibility of the particle being detected there unexpectedly.
When this happens it is as if the particle has "tunneled" through the hill.
The effect is already used in a practical way in the scanning tunneling microscope, which can image surface features at an atomic scale and relies on the "tunneling" of electrons.
Tunneling is also involved in radioactivity and nuclear fusion. Without it, the sun could not shine, and some scientists believe the universe itself only came into existence because of tunneling.
-Salem
The hell with it, give me a quantum sledgehammer and I'll break that crappy light-speed barrier myself!
Scientists claim to break light-speed barrier
German scientists claim to have broken the light-speed barrier, which could blow away the known limitations of modern networking, but the technology is unlikely to make it into a product--if at all--until most administrators working today have retired.
Exceeding the speed of light, approximately 300,000km per second, is supposed to be completely impossible. According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, it would take an infinite amount of energy to accelerate an object through the light barrier.
But two German physicists claim to have forced light to overcome its own speed limit using the strange phenomenon known as "quantum tunneling."
Gunter Nimtz, one of the physicists from the University of Koblenz, told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of."
However, the scientists' claims should be treated with some skepticism until they have been investigated by the wider scientific community, according to Dr. Kevin McIsaac, an analyst at Sydney-based firm IBRS, who holds a PhD in theoretical atomic physics.
"From time to time we do hear about these interesting experiments, often by well-meaning scientists. But, until this has been validated by the scientific community, you want to treat it with some skepticism," said McIsaac.
"To date, all indications are that no information can travel faster than the speed of light. There are some experiments that indicate you can have interactions that appear to be faster than the speed of light but you still can't transmit information faster than the speed of light," said McIsaac.
The scientists set up an experiment in which microwave photons--energetic packets of light--appeared to travel "instantaneously" between two prisms forming the halves of a cube placed a meter apart.
When the prisms were placed together, photons fired at one edge passed straight through them, as expected. After they were moved apart, most of the photons reflected off the first prism they encountered and were picked up by a detector. But a few photons appeared to "tunnel" through the gap separating them as if the prisms were still held together.
Although these photons had traveled a longer distance, they arrived at their detector at exactly the same time as the reflected photons. In effect, they seemed to have traveled faster than light.
Quantum tunneling is a well known phenomenon that occurs as a direct result of the strange uncertainty which pervades nature at very small scales. It allows subatomic particles to break apparently unbreakable barriers.
Even if the discovery turns out to be real, IBRS's McIsaac isn't convinced that it could be turned into a useful product: "About 15 or 20 years ago a scientist claimed to have discovered cold fusion... but still nothing has happened. One of the big promises has been quantum computing and we still don't have it. Also, photonic computing — we still don't have that either."
"So, frankly, I would suggest that anybody who is an administrator today probably won't see this till they have retired," McIsaac said.
Quantum tunneling
To understand the principle of quantum tunneling, consider a ball being bowled up a hill. If the ball has insufficient velocity, it will not roll over the top of the hill and appear on the other side. But, if the ball was a subatomic particle, subject to quantum laws, it would also behave like a wave.
The "wave function" describing the particle would represent the probability of finding it at a certain location. This wave could extend to the other side of the hill, meaning there will always be a small possibility of the particle being detected there unexpectedly.
When this happens it is as if the particle has "tunneled" through the hill.
The effect is already used in a practical way in the scanning tunneling microscope, which can image surface features at an atomic scale and relies on the "tunneling" of electrons.
Tunneling is also involved in radioactivity and nuclear fusion. Without it, the sun could not shine, and some scientists believe the universe itself only came into existence because of tunneling.
-Salem
The hell with it, give me a quantum sledgehammer and I'll break that crappy light-speed barrier myself!
Tuesday 14 August 2007
May I redirect your attention please?
I know there are a lot of links down the side of this blog, but for the most part, there's a reason for it. Today, you have to go take a look at Pointless Banter's Gay Bomb post. It's most likely not what your thinking it is, but you need to see it. I could explain it here, but since it's already there... well you know. I'm lazy.
-Salem
Hijacking others material for my own lazy purpose.
-Salem
Hijacking others material for my own lazy purpose.
Friday 10 August 2007
Say my name bitch! SAY IT!
AH-HAHAHAHAHA!
That felt reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaly good.
Ok, quick history for why this is here. Yesterday, I was hijacked at 3:55pm (5 minutes before I waltz out the door to go home) by... let's call him Lispy. Lispy is one of the directors here. He also happens to work in the civil sector. I am in the structural sector, in fact, I am all of the structural sector. So with 5 mintes of my day left, Lispy wants me to patch together a drawing for him. Not a structural drawing I might add, but a civil drawing. Now what the hell am I doing civil work for? I have 2 bridges and a large set of culverts that all needed to be out 2 months ago so I'm busy enough as it is. There are another 10 or 15 people in the civil sector that he could have asked to do this, so what the fuck am I working on a civil drawing for? Suffice to say I was seeing red and ended up leaving half an hour later than I was supposed to. Lispy is on thin ice with me right now, director or not.
This morning I was just waiting. Having completed the task Lispy had set me with the help of some people in the civil sector, I just knew that he'd try and find something wrong with it. Not today Lispy, not today. He seems to think that because I'm only technically a trainee but still doing the work of a lead drafter that I'm something less than human and should be punished. Not today Lispy, not today. He strolled into my cubical with that condescending look on his face that means he's about to start talking to me as if I have the brain capacity of a retarded kitten that's garroting itself with a ball of string. Not today Lispy, not today.
Here's how the conversation went. I've colour coded it for my own amusement and also to pinpoint the precise moment that I achieved total balance.
Lispy: "So I looked at that drawing and you haven't put in the contours that I asked you to."
Salem's Brain: Yeah bullshit I haven't you moron. If anything is missing it's because your trained monkeys in civil didn't give me the correct info or you expected me to read your mind and didn't bother to mention it.
Salem's Mouth: "Really? I followed the instructions that I got from the civil guys."
Lispy: "Well none of it's there. Open the file and I'll show you."
Salem's Brain: Oh here we go, you just want to get me to believe that even though you're an engineer, you can use AutoCAD as well as a trained drafter... didn't you try this yesterday? Oh well, good luck cock-bite, you're going to need it.
Salem's Mouth: "Not a problem. As you can see, I've bound in all the files that you requested."
Lispy: "So where are all the contours then?" (He's getting that pissed off tone at this point)
Salem's Brain: HAHA! Check and mate monkey-boy! So much for being a show off with ACAD. The layer's just turned off. Now, get the fuck out of my cube and back under your bridge dumb-ass!
Salem's Mouth: "You mean all these contours?" (Said while flicking on the required layer)
Lispy: "Never mind."
Salem, The One: "Would you like me to save you a copy with that layer turned on?"
Lispy: (No response as he retreats from my cube)
Not today Lispy, not today. It's Friday, my golden day when I am impervious to all attacks. You fail. Welcome to 'I win day' fucker.
-Salem
Zen. Today I am balanced, controlled and already out the door to start my weekend.
That felt reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaly good.
Ok, quick history for why this is here. Yesterday, I was hijacked at 3:55pm (5 minutes before I waltz out the door to go home) by... let's call him Lispy. Lispy is one of the directors here. He also happens to work in the civil sector. I am in the structural sector, in fact, I am all of the structural sector. So with 5 mintes of my day left, Lispy wants me to patch together a drawing for him. Not a structural drawing I might add, but a civil drawing. Now what the hell am I doing civil work for? I have 2 bridges and a large set of culverts that all needed to be out 2 months ago so I'm busy enough as it is. There are another 10 or 15 people in the civil sector that he could have asked to do this, so what the fuck am I working on a civil drawing for? Suffice to say I was seeing red and ended up leaving half an hour later than I was supposed to. Lispy is on thin ice with me right now, director or not.
This morning I was just waiting. Having completed the task Lispy had set me with the help of some people in the civil sector, I just knew that he'd try and find something wrong with it. Not today Lispy, not today. He seems to think that because I'm only technically a trainee but still doing the work of a lead drafter that I'm something less than human and should be punished. Not today Lispy, not today. He strolled into my cubical with that condescending look on his face that means he's about to start talking to me as if I have the brain capacity of a retarded kitten that's garroting itself with a ball of string. Not today Lispy, not today.
Here's how the conversation went. I've colour coded it for my own amusement and also to pinpoint the precise moment that I achieved total balance.
Lispy: "So I looked at that drawing and you haven't put in the contours that I asked you to."
Salem's Brain: Yeah bullshit I haven't you moron. If anything is missing it's because your trained monkeys in civil didn't give me the correct info or you expected me to read your mind and didn't bother to mention it.
Salem's Mouth: "Really? I followed the instructions that I got from the civil guys."
Lispy: "Well none of it's there. Open the file and I'll show you."
Salem's Brain: Oh here we go, you just want to get me to believe that even though you're an engineer, you can use AutoCAD as well as a trained drafter... didn't you try this yesterday? Oh well, good luck cock-bite, you're going to need it.
Salem's Mouth: "Not a problem. As you can see, I've bound in all the files that you requested."
Lispy: "So where are all the contours then?" (He's getting that pissed off tone at this point)
Salem's Brain: HAHA! Check and mate monkey-boy! So much for being a show off with ACAD. The layer's just turned off. Now, get the fuck out of my cube and back under your bridge dumb-ass!
Salem's Mouth: "You mean all these contours?" (Said while flicking on the required layer)
Lispy: "Never mind."
Salem, The One: "Would you like me to save you a copy with that layer turned on?"
Lispy: (No response as he retreats from my cube)
Not today Lispy, not today. It's Friday, my golden day when I am impervious to all attacks. You fail. Welcome to 'I win day' fucker.
-Salem
Zen. Today I am balanced, controlled and already out the door to start my weekend.
Thursday 9 August 2007
New Blood
So, Kahn told me that we have a new reader. This is just a quick welcome and "Hallelujah, we're getting through!". Ok, so it's not a big audience, but that's fine. If we manage to help even one person prepare for the zombie apocalypse, then that's one less zombie that we have to kill. I should mention that we here at MB actually endorse zombie killing and zombie apocalypses wherever we can. Let's face it people, we're violent by nature and zombie killing is really the only kind of people killing that can be unequivocally deemed legal.
This is getting off topic though. Welcome once again to our new reader. Hope you enjoy your stay here and please note that if you feel like your brain has been punched with a bright red swingline stapler wielded by an angry Muppet dressed in drag and whistling 'Crazy on you', then I have achieved the desired effect.
-Salem
I wish I had a picture of that Muppet, I really do.
This is getting off topic though. Welcome once again to our new reader. Hope you enjoy your stay here and please note that if you feel like your brain has been punched with a bright red swingline stapler wielded by an angry Muppet dressed in drag and whistling 'Crazy on you', then I have achieved the desired effect.
-Salem
I wish I had a picture of that Muppet, I really do.
Tuesday 7 August 2007
Zombie Plan v1.0
Has this ever happened to you?
Well it hasn't happened to us yet, but dammit, we're not taking any chances! That's why we here at Morally Bankrupt have formulated our own Zombie Plan v1.0
This plan has been devised to keep us safe in the event of all but the most vigorous of zombie apocalypses. If we somehow end up with Ninja Zombies, then the only thing that we can hope for is that they start fighting with the Pirate Zombies or let's face it, we're all doomed. So assuming we suffer from a run-of-the-mill zombie apocalypse, at least we'll be safe. A shame about the rest of you, but you know... like, whatever.
The Plan
Step 1: Temporary Fortifications
This is the basic blocking of access points. The last thing you want it zombies clawing their way in through easily broken windows or doors. The place I share with Frejak, Kallisar and Kahn is rather sturdy, but does have a lot of glass in places. How do we fix that? Simple, we block doors to the library and Kahn's bedroom and barricade the doorway to the game room. You're probably wondering why we don't just board up the offending doors and windows in those rooms rather than just cutting them off. Our plan is based around a quick response time to an unexpected event. We don't just have a lot of boards and nails sitting around, waiting for the zombies to come. That would be a waste (right up to the apocalypse at any rate). For now, we use the bookshelves to block doors and the two pieces of Kahn's king sized bed base to block open doorways and the glass panel by the front door. Entry is now that much tougher for the zombie hoards.
Step 2: Organisation
Technically, this step will start during step 1 and continue during step 3. Organisation involves moving all the useful things from the game room and library upstairs. It may also include pulling up the scaffolding if it's still set up (if only they'd finish painting the house). Yes, it's just that simple. We are hoping that Frejak's sister and her partner will arrive sometime soon after the apocalypse starts, and if they're here, then they'll be helping to organise rationing and how best to go about step 4.
Step 3: Getting Supplies
This would probably be more accurately called "Robbing the hardware store and supermarket" but it doesn't make it sound as vital as it actually is. While we have a lot of weapons in the house already, we think we could stand for a few more and hardware stores are great for that. Kallisar has put in for chainsaws and nailguns and quite frankly, I have to agree. We also need the afore mentioned boards and nails anyhow so we can block up the access points a little better. We also have things like generators, solar panels, water pumps, air compressors, etc. on the list. Then it's off to the shops for food supplies. We're thinking that rather than hit a supermarket, we hit a lot of little corner stores and take-away shops. There's less likely to be crowds of people with similar survival ideas at small shops. We're one step ahead of the masses though and that's why we'll be laughing at all the zombies while the rest of you are... well, zombies, like this.
Step 4: Refortification
Now we have the hardware, we fix out defenses. This may require us to push a few zombies back out of the house to reclaim the rooms we blocked off earlier in step 1, but that's ok. We should now have a secure house and that gives us a lot of space. Best part is that the balconies will make great defense platforms. I have hopes that we'll be able to use some 7 ply to board up the front of the balcony railings, pack newspapers as tightly and as desnsely as posible between the rails and finish off the back of the sandwich with some more 7 ply. In fact, I'd like to do that to all the windows downstairs as well. Again, you may be wondering why. I expect to be beset by the occasional non-zombie raiding party and the ply-and-paper is a fairly effective and rather easy to put together way to stop projectiles. Damn we're good at this!
Step 5: More Supplies
At this point, we go out on small raiding trips to pick up slightly less essential, but extremely hand items. There's a police station not to far from our place, so we're thinking that if there aren't any police around, we may borrow some of their equipment (radios, any spare riot gear, weapons, donuts, etc.). There will also be trips to get as much food as we can find with an eye to long lasting items. We want to hit a nursery (the plant kind, not the sticky children kind) so that we can perhaps look at growing our own food. There's a hydroponics store close by, so that's going to get raided. Other things such as rainwater tanks will also be added during this stage if possible. Hospital goods will also be raided. We have a choice I think of about 3 hospitals.
Step 6: Settling In
We should have most of what we need and so now it's just a matter of setting up the last few bits and pieces and adjusting to our new lifestyle. I'll probably go out on zombie whacking duties every day or two. Frejak will probably want to go too, but I don't know if that would happen or not. We have a 'Couples' rule that states when leaving the safety of our home/base, either both go or neither of them go. This is so that if one of them dies, the other is there to see it. Sounds cruel doesn't it? The idea behind it is that if they're both there when one dies (which we're hoping doesn't happen), the other will not be able to blame any of the other survivors for their loss and thus are less likely to destabalise the group. Pretty grim, but these would be grim times.
So there you have it. We have much more detail in our plan than I've written here, but you can see we've thought this through. Bring on the zombies! We're ready, are you?
-Salem
I'm hoping that we get dancing zombies like in Thriller!
Thursday 2 August 2007
A Sydney Morning Herald Article Slashdotted? Yeah. Right.
So I was walking past the local newstand when I was confronted by the headline:
New Sneak and Peak powers for police!
Curious, I checked the publication of the paper (Sydney Morning Herald) before running off to do the 15 billion things I had to do, and ended up coming home quite late.
This morning, I looked for the article on SMH.
It's already gone under the paid section - something that normally doesn't happen for another day at least.
The Age article is still up, however, so get it while it's hot.
The summary is basically that it allows wiretapping and seizing computer and business equipment without a warrant (until after they've done it - 6 to 18 months later).
Just thought people should be getting angry.
Oh, and I'm checking a cross-posting tool, so I hope it plays nice.
New Sneak and Peak powers for police!
Curious, I checked the publication of the paper (Sydney Morning Herald) before running off to do the 15 billion things I had to do, and ended up coming home quite late.
This morning, I looked for the article on SMH.
It's already gone under the paid section - something that normally doesn't happen for another day at least.
The Age article is still up, however, so get it while it's hot.
The summary is basically that it allows wiretapping and seizing computer and business equipment without a warrant (until after they've done it - 6 to 18 months later).
Just thought people should be getting angry.
Oh, and I'm checking a cross-posting tool, so I hope it plays nice.
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