First Annual Award for Cigarette Packaging Excellence

So here we are again for the first time at the First Annual Award for Cigarette Packaging Excellence. Give it up for the awesomeness that is the advertising genius of the death dealing cigarette companies!


First off, an honourable mention goes to... Skydancer Menthol's!Not only do they taste like a cool mountain stream, they have one pictured right there on the front of the box! Way to go guys.

Kamel Reds came in at the bottom of the pack (get it? Pack... like a cigarette pack... ok shut up now). They have a wonderfully... eye catching redness about them. Yes... very good.
Moving right along, the lovely Sandia. They come in red, blue, green, light blue, light green... they just come in a fuck load of colours ok? They do have some nice mountains on them though, so they have that going for them.
Seneca... how the fuck do you say that? I don't know, do you? Who cares, they have more pretty mountains done in silver foil and that's really what we care about.
Desert Sun has the next pack of coolness. We like the cactus in the setting desert sun. Enough said.
The next is an old favorite in joke circles I'm sure, you know the name... Smokin' Joes! They have the most garish packaging we've ever seen and boy! Don't the kids just love 'em!
Tucson have a very nice look to them. Very Texas Ranger if you know what I mean (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Confused? Well that's ok. I don't get it either.
This is a little disappointing as Salem brand cigarettes didn't quite make it to first place. Still it does show that I'm not playing favorites here, they really do just have an awesome pack. Let's see what a pack of Crumples looks like huh? Yeah, that's right, Salems are the almost winner!
And the winner is.... Nat Shermans! Sure is lucky we didn't judge by name I suppose. Either way, they have the best pack around and the cigarettes that are held within are just as classy. Black with a gold foil filter! How good is that? Pretty fuckin' good is at least how good that is. I'm going to get some.
Ok, we do have one last treat for you. The "Most likely to kill you with just a single one of their unspeakable death sticks!" award. We found these hiding away in the back and at a massive 20.5mg per cigarette, they're sure to knock the air out of you. Not sure which end though. May just bust a hole right in the side of your rib cage. So you know, these are about twice the strength of our sponsored Davidoff classics. Hard hitting, you bet your peace-pipe smoking indians they are!
I hope you have all enjoyed this glimps into the wonderful world of cigarette packaging. Take care folks!

-Salem
How about we take a 5 minute break... smoke if you got 'em.

I have the power!!!

Ahahahahahahaha!!!

Our home internet connection is back and that means I'm back posting shit! Remember this mortals, YOU SHALL NEVER BE RID OF ME!!!

-Salem
I will devour your souls

He's not *quite* dead yet...

Believe me, this war is still raging even as we speak and even if we burn his corpse, he could still come back a badger. Hell, if one of his beneficiaries happens to find that 'Wish' scroll in his library, who knows how much more powerful he'll be when he returns?

-Salem
It's not over till Monte Cook says it's over, dammit!

Does today count?

Let's start by taking a closer look at the date and it's status:

February 29

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

February 29 is a date that occurs only every four years, in years evenly divisible by 4, such as 1988, 1996, 2008 or 2016 (with the exception of century years not divisible by 400, such as 1900). These are called leap years, and February 29 is the 60th day of the Gregorian calendar in such a year, with 306 days remaining until the end of that year. February 29 is also known as bissextile day or Leap Day.

Events

• 1504 - Christopher Columbus uses his knowledge of a lunar eclipse that night to convince Native Americans to provide him with supplies.
• 1704 - Queen Anne's War: French forces and Native Americans stage a raid on Deerfield, Massachusetts, killing 100 men, women, and children.
• 1712 - February 29 is followed by February 30 in Sweden, in a move to abolish the Swedish calendar for a return to the Old style.
• 1720 - Queen Ulrika Eleonora of Sweden abdicates in favour of her husband, who becomes King Frederick I.
• 1864 - American Civil War: Kilpatrick-Dahlgren Raid fails - Plans to free 15,000 Union soldiers being held near Richmond, Virginia are thwarted.
• 1892 - St. Petersburg, Florida incorporated.
• 1916 - Child labor: In South Carolina, the minimum working age for factory, mill, and mine workers is raised from twelve to fourteen years old.
• 1932 - TIME magazine features eccentric American politician William "Alfalfa" Murray on its cover after Murray stated his intention to run for President of the United States.
• 1936 - Baby Snooks, played by Fanny Brice, debuts on the radio program The Ziegfeld Follies of the Air.
• 1940 - For her role as Mammy in Gone with the Wind, Hattie McDaniel becomes the first African American to win an Academy Award.
• 1940 - Finland initiates Winter War peace negotiations
• 1940 - In a ceremony held in Berkeley, California, because of the war, physicist Ernest Lawrence receives his 1939 Nobel Prize in Physics from the Sweden's Consul General in San Francisco.
• 1944 - World War II: The Admiralty Islands are invaded in the American General Douglas MacArthur-led Operation Brewer.
• 1952 - The island of Heligoland is restored to German authority.
• 1956 - U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower announces to the nation that he is running for a second term.
• 1960 - An earthquake in Morocco kills over 3,000 people and nearly destroys Agadir in the southern part of the country.
• 1964 - In Sydney, Australian swimmer Dawn Fraser sets a new world record in the 100-meter freestyle swimming competition (58.9 seconds).
• 1972 - Vietnam War: Vietnamization - South Korea withdraws 11,000 of its 48,000 troops from Vietnam.
• 1972 - Hank Aaron becomes the first player in the history of Major League Baseball to sign a $200,000 contract.
• 1984 - Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau announces he will retire as soon as the Liberals can elect another leader.
• 1988 - South African archbishop Desmond Tutu is arrested along with 100 clergymen during a five-day anti-apartheid demonstration in Cape Town
• 1996 - Novelist Joan Collins awarded US $1 million from Random House for breach of contract.
• 1996 - A Peruvian Boeing 737 crashes in the Andes, killing 123 people.
• 2000 - Six year old Dedrick Owens shoots and kills Kayla Rolland, also six years old, at Theo J. Buell Elementary School in Mount Morris Township, Michigan.
• 2004 - Jean-Bertrand Aristide resigns as President of Haiti following popular rebel uprising.

Births

A person who was born on February 29 may be called a "leapling". In non-leap years they may celebrate their birthday on 28 February or 1 March.

For legal purposes, their legal birthdays depend on how different laws count time intervals. In England and Wales the legal birthday of a leapling is 28 February in common years (see Leap Years, above). In Taiwan the legal birthday of a leapling is also February 28 in common years. In both cases, a person born on February 29, 1980 would have legally reached 18 years old on February 28, 1998.

"If a period fixed by weeks, months, and years does not commence from the beginning of a week, month, or year, it ends with the ending of the day which proceeds the day of the last week, month, or year which corresponds to that on which it began to commence. But if there is no corresponding day in the last month, the period ends with the ending of the last day of the last month.^[2]"

There are many instances in children's literature where a person's claim to be only a quarter of their actual age turns out to be based on counting their leap-year birthdays. A similar device is used in the plot of the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta The Pirates of Penzance. Frederic, born on February 29, was apprenticed to a band of pirates until his 21st birthday, which would not arrive until he was eighty-four years old.^[3]

Holidays and observances

• Bahá'í Faith - Day 4 of Ayyám-i-Há (Intercalary Days) (in leap years only) - days in the Bahá'í calendar devoted to service and gift giving.
• Discordianism - St. Tib's Day.
• February 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
  

Notes

1. ^ Clarissa Bye, "Take the Leap Today, Girls," Sydney Morning Herald, February 29, 2004. Retrieved July 27, 2007.
2. ^ Article 121 of the Civil Code Part I General Principles of the Republic of China in effect in Taiwan.
3. ^ Not eighty-four, as the year 1900 would not be a leap year.

Ok, so there was a list of births, but it was boring as hell, so I cut it out along with the "Deaths" section. Seriously, who cares about dead people anyhow? Unless they come back as zombies, I'm pretty sure that they're not going to be causing any major trouble any time soon.

Moving right along, what is significant about today? Not much really. The average person will see about 15 to 20 of these days pass them by and will remember approximately 2 less than that. The one at the start is a definite no go as when you're 4 at the most, you just wont care and I figure that the one at the end will probably be clouded by Alzheimers or some other mentally crippling disease. I mean let's face it, most of the people on this planet already suffer from a massive case of stupidity, so I don't think that I'm making too much of a leap here.

There are two things that I do find mildly interesting about the 29th though (three if you count the Discordanisim holiday, but what do they matter?). Firstly is that in official terms, the norm seems to be that people born on the 29th have their birthday pushed to the 28th. Now I can sort of see why as it keeps their birthday in the right month and all that, but still it just doesn't quite sit right. I would prefer to celebrate on the 1st of March as that is technically closer to the actual anniversary of one's birth. Since I was born in August though, this is a moot point, so whatever.

The other thing I find curious is this tradition of women being "allowed" to propose to men on this day. What the hell? Sure this was all well and good to make a fuss over back in the archaic days when men had one set of rules and women another where matters of propriety and social acceptability were concerned, but come on, it's 2008 people! We have long since shed any pretence of social acceptability. Besides, I thought the rule was meant to be that men and women were equals now (except in areas of natural and irreconcilable biological difference) and this seems to set us all back a good 60 years or more. What the hell?

My conclusion after reviewing all my own evidence is this then: Today is special only because I've posted something up. Simple as that. I am a fair god and you are right to worship me and thank me for my beneficence. Letting you all stumble around in the darkness looking for a blog entry today is not something I would wish on anyone (except those that are deserving of my scorn) and so I have rescued you from a day of tedium and banality. Praise be to me for I have even provided the... "less wordy" among you with links to explain my glorious perspicacity!

-Salem
In another 4 years it will be Frejak or Kahn that saves you.

Wait, what month is it?

February you say? The end of it? Well damn! So it's been quite a while since I posted last, but that's ok. Nobody reads it anyhow so I haven't got anyone sending me hate mail because we haven't done anything in the last month. There's something oddly soothing about running a blog with absolutely no readers. We post what we want, when we want and nobody ever complains about it. In fact, when we do hear about it, it's only from the other authors and I can't think of a time when it hasn't been some form of praise. How can you really argue with that?

Anyhow, moving right along, we're once again coming up to another Equinox. I know that few people are overly concerned by this as you follow your more standard holidays, such as Easter or Kwanzaa (what the hell is Kwanzaa?) and that's cool. Around here, both Frejak and I prefer to celebrate something that is far more scientifically proven and far less commercial. Thankfully, our friends respect that much in the same way that we respect their holiday of choice. Actually, I'm eagerly awaiting the day that Kahn decides to start celebrating Kwanzaa. It may not be that far off. Joyous Zwanzaa to you if it happens Kahn! Incidentally, I know that Kwanzaa is at the end of the year, but I'm demonstrating varied traditions of celebration here so shush.

So yeah, Equinox. Since we're in the Southern hemisphere, it's the Autumnal Equinox for us (Vernal if you're in the less trendy Northern hemisphere). With any luck it will signal a change to a cooler temperature and maybe some more rain. While that wasn't a very technical explanation, here's a watered down version for the people outside of our hemisphere:

This is the Equinox that gets a holiday

This is the Chevy Equinox that I hope hits you for not indicating while
changing lanes you dumb-ass.

Did I mention that lately I've been spending a lot more time on the roads? Well I have been and I'm starting to wish I had a bullet for every fucker that doesn't know how to indicate. One of these days I'm going to get hit by one of these morons and they're going to blame me for it. I imagine this is how the conversation will go:
Non-Indicator: "Why don't you watch where you're going dick?!?"
Enraged Salem: "I was watching exactly where I was going when you suddenly and without warning, veered into me you psych ward reject!!!"
[Insert me punching the idiot in the face and saying "Surprise Cock-Face!" here]

Right, this is getting a little off track here. The point of all this was to basically post up something new before the end of the month and also let you know that Equinox will be on March 20th this year. I hope you all have a joyous time. Frejak and I will light an extra candle for all of you... except those fuckers that never indicate.

-Salem
I've started weight training at the gym in preparation for the non-indicators.

Sling Shots

Now I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "God... here we go again, he's going to ramble on about a damn slingshot and some kind of Zombie Apocalypse." and normally you'd be right. I do love my Zombie Plans but on this occasion I have something else in mind. Coming up in the very near future we have Frejak's birthday and we will be heading out to one of Brisbane's premier night spots, the fabulous Sling Lounge. I've loved this place since I first turned up. Let me tell you the story of why.

Back in the day, the Lychee Lounge was pretty much my favourite place to go out to in Brissy. The reason was that while the location and atmosphere were great, the drinks were just off the charts. While most of the staff there were pretty good, when I first went, I went with a good friend of mine that had worked at the Lychee Lounge and as a consequence, all our drinks were made by the best guy in the joint, Dustin Davis. Davis is a whiz behind the bar and so every time I went back, he was the one that we had making our drinks. I never got to know Davis super well, but he's the kind of guy that is smart enough to know that I will rave about him to anyone that wants to listen so he treats me well. When he left the Lychee Lounge to start up his own place with 2 other accomplished colleagues, I was more than happy to follow, thus I ended up at Sling. The more I go back, the more I get to say hi and see what he's doing with the place and truthfully, I just love being able to say we know the guy, he's just awesome.

If you haven't been yet, you should and you don't have to take my word for it either as there are a few others that are just as happy to rave about the place. It's not hard to find and it's very easy to want to stay there. The food is great, the cocktail list is seemingly endless and the place has such an awesome quality to it that you will not want to leave. Some people like bar hopping, but me, I'll stay planted at Sling and soak it up. I'm looking forward to Frejak's birthday, should be a great time with some great people. I just hope they remember to get back to her soon so we know how many to book for!

-Salem
Best place for alcohol abuse ever!

First, 100 posts and now our 1st Birthday.

Take it away MC Chris!

~~~~~
Go Robot, it's your birthday!
Go Robot, it's your birthday!

You're one year older, one year wiser,
Rock n' Roll star, King, Tsar and a Kaiser.
A room full of friends, a mouth full of cake,
Every present is for you and it feels pretty great.
You're the man of the hour, the V.I.P.
You get the first slice of the p.i.e.
But first blow out the candles and make a wish.
Put a smile on 'cus it's your birthday bitch!

Go Robot, it's your birthday!
Go Robot, it's your birthday!
~~~~~

The best kind of deadly sin...

Ok, so enough with the birthday songs. It's been a great year here on MB and I have to say that I'm shocked (but pleasantly so) that we managed to keep going this long. Usually, our collective interest wanes and dies within a few weeks of starting on something like this. Turns out that if this blogger thing is indeed the deadly sin that has replaced Sloth, then we're eager to submit to an eternity in Hell.

Hmm... The scary cat-thing makes a compelling argument...

The upside is that I can now announce that the winner of our '100 Rambles' contest is (and this will come as a shock to you all I'm sure)... Kahn. I'd be bitter about him beating me, but since I'm ineligible to win anything as it's my contest, I guess I'll be content with making sure that my name is plastered all over the award so that he can never forget who the real king of this little hill is. Congratulations! We love you Kahn, you shall live to blog another day.

Hmm... The fuzzy baby penguin makes a compelling argument...

If you haven't yet noticed, I'm also using this post to throw up a lot of random pics that I've found and enjoyed. If you don't like it, I recommend you click here and go somewhere else on the interwebs as I plan on continuing to scatter unrelated items throughout the remainder of this post. This is what happens when I post while I'm sick, the fever germs get into my brain and things get rather mixed up. My attention span is short enough but when I'm sick... hehehe, I posted 3 animal pics in a row :)

Would we make fun of Catholics? Well duh! Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Sorry, where was I? Never mind, I think my germs are massing for another attack. I gonna lay down back 'cause our concussion have me sleepy. Happy birthday MB. I got us all a cake to celebrate... but I ate it. It was friggin' deliciolous.

Kruddler!

-Salem
60% of the time, I work every time!

100 Rambles on Morally Bankrupt.

Welcome to our 100th post! It's taken us less than a year to manage this and I have to say that if it wasn't for me, there would be far less useless junk up here. Still, 100 posts is a landmark of sorts and we should make the effort to celebrate it properly. Without further ado, I give you the Morally Bankrupt posting pole!

Salem: 76 (including this post)
Kahn: 12
Frejak: 6
Crumples: 4
Kallisar: 1
Ashenphoenix: 1
Sara_Jayne: 0
Sierra Julliette: 0
Visure: 0

As you can see, I have no life at all when compared to everyone else. On the up side, we have a competition to keep us all entertained. You get 3 votes a piece for your favourite posts, use them wisely. A first place vote gets 5 points, a second place vote gets 3 and a third place vote gets 1. Just post your votes in the comments section of this post. When voting closes, I'll tally up the scores and the winner will get the highly coveted "Morally Bankrupt Plaque". Now, I know that I have an unfair advantage in that I've posted 76% of the stuff up here but fear not, if I win the prize goes to the person in second place. Please try not to vote for yourself as that's just a little tacky in my opinion. If you want to vote for the same person more than once that's fine, just not for the same post more than once. Also, if you feel that you would like to award a post with something special in the form of an honourable mention (such as "Most Pointless" or "Best Stolen Article" for example) then email those to me and I'll post them up alongside the competition results. Below is a list of all the previous posts by author, from their earliest post to their most recent.

Ashenphoenix:
A Sydney Morning Herald Article Slashdotted? Yeah. Right.

Kallisar:
Nuclear Destruction

Crumples:
For the love of sugary treats.
My Pubes Can Bend Light
The Tale Of The Ibi - A Collaborative Effort
I Walked Into A Door...

Frejak:
Machiavellian thoughts
Telephonic wonders
Delight
Only one smoke left and a full jar of Arnica
Disturbed
Frejak's rant of the week

Kahn:
Wii Moment in History
A Few too Many
MMO Update
A New Low
Happy Birthday Mum
It Begins Again
Part 1
This Week in the News
Fatty Fat Fat!!!
So I Says to Mabell I Says...
Sweet Zombie Hanuman
Quandary

Salem:
Rules of Engagement
World news and it's sad reflections.
The wonders of nothing
Dear, sweet, ZOMBIE Jesus!
Where there's Smokers, there's fire.
Personal Satisfaction
Urolagnia
When does the hurting stop?
The Prestige
Dodging the rules.
I win!
Remember the suit!
Sealab 2021
Time to get dirty
Last day
Update time
Huzzah for coffee
Mr. Crack Spider
Love-day? What the hell?
Bugatti Veyron - Breaking the Rules
Nicotine & Caffeine
Mel hacked his own Gibson!
A Personal Struggle
Death to the Sony and the media!
Versatility Plus
Paradox
Time for me to be funny again!
No Fishing
What the hell?
Just for Kahn.
What the hell is this?
J.C. isn't here man.
:D vs. D:
Whose House?
Ron's House!
Ше каи наs anфтнея cфld шая?
Only I may dance!
Another day, another... Gimme the god-damned cash!
That dog won't hunt Monsegnior.
American logic strikes again.
Fark-tastic!
Magic Hands! (and they're not mine for a change)
My new favorite attack!
Always outnumbered, never outgunned!
One more for the road...
Photosynth and Seadragon
The Ministry of Truth
Need some help?
Just a quick reminder
Rock Concert Movement #237:
Ill Niño - What Comes Around
The Red Swingline Stapler
Dead & Alive?
I are be presenting a Award!
Zombie Plan v1.0
New Blood
Say my name bitch! SAY IT!
May I redirect your attention please?
Excuse me dear, have you seen my quantum sledgehammer?
Zombie Plan v1.1
Where is your billboard now?
Death by Misadventure
Part 1.5?
World Zombie News
Video Killed the Blogger Star?
Scientific Holiday Time Approaches.
Sharp-Shooter
Dear god, why?
International Talk Like A Pirate Day
I Be Postin' Like A Pirate! Yarr!
Black Bear Attacks, Rapes, Zookeeper
Behold! 'The Kahn' Cometh!
And We're Back!
Fatass McBlobbicus
What's a Pogram anyhow?
100 Rambles on Morally Bankrupt.

Holy crap that was a lot of effort... that's like, over 100 links right there people! For those of us that didn't post, don't worry too much about it, there's always the next 100 in which to leave your mark! Anyhow, I hope you have all enjoyed your time here, be it as an active participant or just a regular reader. With any luck, this thing will keep going for a long time and you never know, one day someone the authors don't know may even read some of it. Thanks for contributing guys. I'm looking forward to a few hundred more rambles here on Morally Bankrupt.

-Salem
I'm not looking forward to having to do that every 100 posts let me tell you!