Scientific Holiday Time Approaches.

Yes, it's getting close to that time of year again. The Spring (or Vernal if you prefer) Equinox is fast approaching. This year, it will be on September 23rd at 19:51 (7:51pm) local Brisbane time.

I'm predicting that it really will be a good year for both Kahn and myself as we've both managed a cosmic event around our birthdays. I'm not saying that the stars guide your destiny, far from it in fact, but when something cool like an Equinox in Kahn's case or a blood moon in my own happen to coincide with your birthday, it's the perfect opportunity to use it as proof of your divinity to a tribe of savages that you can then bend to your will.

I have chosen a lovely moon-worshiping gypsy tribe to roam the countryside enforcing my laws and whims. They seem quite taken with my crystal clear hazel eyes, impeccable night-vision and of course my piercing gaze that can cut deep into their souls. I'm sure that my speed and agility have been quite helpful in promoting the belief that I can also turn into a large black panther to punish the wicked and rend the souls of the forsaken asunder.

Kahn no doubt will be able to use his commanding voice and grand stature to set himself up as a deity of balance and ensure a similarly spectacular reaction from whichever tribe he deems worthy to honor him. Since Equinox is always a day of equal day and night, perhaps he could even spilt the tribe and have those that worship his benevolence in the daylight and those that pursue his evil schemes under the cloak of night. Either way, he has my best wishes in his endeavours. Perhaps we can get together and have a cross-tribal clam-bake or something in honor of our magnificence.

So, until next time dear readers, watch the night sky and enjoy your Equinox.

-Salem
Why be kings when we can be gods?

New Blood

So, Kahn told me that we have a new reader. This is just a quick welcome and "Hallelujah, we're getting through!". Ok, so it's not a big audience, but that's fine. If we manage to help even one person prepare for the zombie apocalypse, then that's one less zombie that we have to kill. I should mention that we here at MB actually endorse zombie killing and zombie apocalypses wherever we can. Let's face it people, we're violent by nature and zombie killing is really the only kind of people killing that can be unequivocally deemed legal.

This is getting off topic though. Welcome once again to our new reader. Hope you enjoy your stay here and please note that if you feel like your brain has been punched with a bright red swingline stapler wielded by an angry Muppet dressed in drag and whistling 'Crazy on you', then I have achieved the desired effect.

-Salem
I wish I had a picture of that Muppet, I really do.

Just a quick reminder

Thought you should all know:

I ROCK, you got that? I fuckin' ROCK!

Sweet. I feel much better knowing that you know that.

-Salem
Always outnumbered, Never outgunned.

My new favorite attack!

You cant see this, but I'm trying as hard as I can to cockpunch you with my mind.

-Salem
Keep staring and it'll be you I try this on!

What the hell?

So why is it that while I loathe pop music so very much, I still get stuck on Avril Lavinge? Bah! It's some kind of crazy mind control or subliminal messaging in her film clips. It has to be. Seriously, I don't know why but if it wasn't for the fact that she's A) famous and B) married, I'm sure that my tenuous reality matrix would shatter and I'd find myself chasing after her like some love-sick puppy. Ok, maybe I'm not a love-sick puppy kind of guy anymore and I'd be more of a narcisistic bastard like Rayne Sommers from LICD, but you get what I'm talking about.

Either way, she has some freaky mind affecting powers that stem from her film clips. Take a look and see for yourself. Compelling isn't it? If only I could discover the exact source of her power and harness it for my own purposes! The world would be mine in but a fraction of the time when compared to so many of my other schemes for world domination. Perhaps it's for the best that she got married after all...

-Salem
Don't even try mentioning that I wouldn't know about her if she wasn't famous or I'll kill you.