Well this is officially my last day in the office. From here, I hope to get a job at Gametraders and write a book in my spare time. Perhaps I should be a little more worried, but I'm not. I guess that we'll have to wait and see how things pan out. With any luck, by the end of January I'll have a staff discount on games and at least the first chapter of a book written. I'll keep you updated on that as I'm certain that my life is vastly more important than anyone else's and that's why you need to come here and read about it.
That's what having a blog means right?
-Salem
Don't argue with me over these things. There are vastly more important arguements than yours that need to be made and without which, the world could be forced to it's knees.
Wednesday, 20 December 2006
Tuesday, 19 December 2006
Time to get dirty
Well, it's about that time where I try something out that could end in a horrible tragedy. It involves putting myself on what I'm told is the front line of a very dangerous battle. Yes that's right, I'm going to try sledging Scientology.
Now I'm sure that this doesn't really sound all that bad, but if even 50% of the stories I've heard are true, I could wind up with my finances assulted and laid waste to, or worse yet, my ass in a sling. Still, I hate that damn "religion" so the hell with them. Maybe I'll repent of my sins when my psychyatrist freezes me in place, leaves me near a volcano and hits me with a slammin' hydrogen bomb... then again, probably not.
So where do I start? Do I bring up that it was founded by a guy that was a well known science-fiction author or perhaps that he was himself seeing one of the evil psychyatrists that his "church" are so against? How about the fact that there is documentation that he had a bet with a fellow author to see who could start a cult the fastest? Well I could start there I suppose, but that would just be too easy and as much as I'd love to just beat them down with cold hard evidence, my tastes lead me to use other methods. If fear is the mind killer, logic is the blade with which it can be slain. As such, today, logic will be my 'gleaming katana' in the fight against ignorance.
Normally, I don't like to bash away at others beliefs but honestly, I've really only had experience with what we'll call 'traditional' ones. That is to say faiths that are thousands of years old. So let's take a walk on the wild side and have a look at why starting a new religion has become a little tougher shall we?
First off, science. Cold, hard, unfeeling and remorseless in the chimeras that it slays. Back in the days of Jesus (or even before that if you like), there wasn't the technology that we have now. If that's a shock to you, walk away now. Moving along though, if a guy walked on water, that was a damned miricle! It was just a tad difficult to quantify how the fucker did it and as such, you would take note. Now, I don't know if Jesus managed that for real or not and I wont untill at least next may when I finish my time machine and go take a look for myself. The thing is though that now, if someone claims a miricle, we can go try figure it out. There are still quite a number of things that we can't explain when it comes to religious phenomonons, but at least they are there.
What exactly has good old L. Ron given us that either can't be explained except through Scientology or can be proven to be true with scientific study? See that was a rhetorical question, because I'm going to tell you. Nothing. What they have is their 'e-meter'. We are all aware that all it does is measure the electrical resistance of the person attached to it right? I bet if I changed my diet to decrease the resistance that the little charge comes up against I could score some kick ass points on that thing! Note to self, rig small copper wire across body from hand to hand and request an 'Audit'. The cool part is that this very same machine was once used as an aid to psychology. I love that 'steal their toys and claim that their ours' attitude that these people have. To add some extra cool to this arguement, the people that say they feel better after an 'audit' really do feel better. Then again, that would be because our wonderful science has allowed us to figure out that when you pass a mild, non-lethal charge through the human body, it likes to release endorphins. For any scientologist that happens to stumble across this, endorphins have also been proven by science to make you feel good.
For now, I'm going to leave it there because this post is becoming an essay. If you want more, hit the 'Operation Clambake' link that I've posted and see how that grabs you. In the words of Jesus and passed on by Henry Rollins: "I'm gone for now, but when I come back, you mother fuckers better jump!"
-Salem
Now I'm sure that this doesn't really sound all that bad, but if even 50% of the stories I've heard are true, I could wind up with my finances assulted and laid waste to, or worse yet, my ass in a sling. Still, I hate that damn "religion" so the hell with them. Maybe I'll repent of my sins when my psychyatrist freezes me in place, leaves me near a volcano and hits me with a slammin' hydrogen bomb... then again, probably not.
So where do I start? Do I bring up that it was founded by a guy that was a well known science-fiction author or perhaps that he was himself seeing one of the evil psychyatrists that his "church" are so against? How about the fact that there is documentation that he had a bet with a fellow author to see who could start a cult the fastest? Well I could start there I suppose, but that would just be too easy and as much as I'd love to just beat them down with cold hard evidence, my tastes lead me to use other methods. If fear is the mind killer, logic is the blade with which it can be slain. As such, today, logic will be my 'gleaming katana' in the fight against ignorance.
Normally, I don't like to bash away at others beliefs but honestly, I've really only had experience with what we'll call 'traditional' ones. That is to say faiths that are thousands of years old. So let's take a walk on the wild side and have a look at why starting a new religion has become a little tougher shall we?
First off, science. Cold, hard, unfeeling and remorseless in the chimeras that it slays. Back in the days of Jesus (or even before that if you like), there wasn't the technology that we have now. If that's a shock to you, walk away now. Moving along though, if a guy walked on water, that was a damned miricle! It was just a tad difficult to quantify how the fucker did it and as such, you would take note. Now, I don't know if Jesus managed that for real or not and I wont untill at least next may when I finish my time machine and go take a look for myself. The thing is though that now, if someone claims a miricle, we can go try figure it out. There are still quite a number of things that we can't explain when it comes to religious phenomonons, but at least they are there.
What exactly has good old L. Ron given us that either can't be explained except through Scientology or can be proven to be true with scientific study? See that was a rhetorical question, because I'm going to tell you. Nothing. What they have is their 'e-meter'. We are all aware that all it does is measure the electrical resistance of the person attached to it right? I bet if I changed my diet to decrease the resistance that the little charge comes up against I could score some kick ass points on that thing! Note to self, rig small copper wire across body from hand to hand and request an 'Audit'. The cool part is that this very same machine was once used as an aid to psychology. I love that 'steal their toys and claim that their ours' attitude that these people have. To add some extra cool to this arguement, the people that say they feel better after an 'audit' really do feel better. Then again, that would be because our wonderful science has allowed us to figure out that when you pass a mild, non-lethal charge through the human body, it likes to release endorphins. For any scientologist that happens to stumble across this, endorphins have also been proven by science to make you feel good.
For now, I'm going to leave it there because this post is becoming an essay. If you want more, hit the 'Operation Clambake' link that I've posted and see how that grabs you. In the words of Jesus and passed on by Henry Rollins: "I'm gone for now, but when I come back, you mother fuckers better jump!"
-Salem
"THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CONTROL PEOPLE IS TO LIE TO THEM. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them."
- L. Ron Hubbard, "Off the Time Track," lecture of June 1952, excerpted in JOURNAL OF SCIENTOLOGY issue 18-G, reprinted in TECHNICAL VOLUMES OF DIANETICS & SCIENTOLOGY, vol. 1, p. 418
Friday, 15 December 2006
Sealab 2021
My first encounter with 'Sealab 2021' came in the form of 'In The Closet'. It was the first episode of season 2 and it's still one of my all time faves. I was pretty well hooked after that and I don't think that I've managed to not mention it on whatever website I happen to frequent. The hardest part about being a Sealab fan in Australia though is that we didn't get the DVD release. On the upside, I did manage to buy myself a Captain Murphy shirt with his famous "Fignuts!" line on it.
Either way, I've managed to get hold of the first seasons worth of episodes and will be burning them to DVD tonight. As soon as I can get my hands on the real deal, I will, but untill then my own dodgey knock-off is going to have to do. Seasons 2 through 5 are still on my list but shoud be done soon. Huzzah!
The main reason I'm mentioning all this is because I can. Plus, I wanted to post up some Sealab pics and now I have a great excuse.
From left to right: Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn, Debbie DuPree, Captain Hazel Hank Murphy, Marco and Derek Stormy Waters. Yep, that's their names. Nope, Marco doesn't have any other names.
Kinda like 'Prince'. I should mention that Jodene Sparks is missing from this picture :(
Ahh Bucket-Head Wendy, will you ever stop luring sailors with your irresistable siren song so you can shanghi them? I sure hope not.
And that right there is comedy gold.
-Salem
Did you know the average fish contains as much mercury as a rectal thermometer? Would you eat a rectal thermometer? I would. Ahh mercury, sweetest of all the transition metals...
Either way, I've managed to get hold of the first seasons worth of episodes and will be burning them to DVD tonight. As soon as I can get my hands on the real deal, I will, but untill then my own dodgey knock-off is going to have to do. Seasons 2 through 5 are still on my list but shoud be done soon. Huzzah!
The main reason I'm mentioning all this is because I can. Plus, I wanted to post up some Sealab pics and now I have a great excuse.
From left to right: Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn, Debbie DuPree, Captain Hazel Hank Murphy, Marco and Derek Stormy Waters. Yep, that's their names. Nope, Marco doesn't have any other names.Kinda like 'Prince'. I should mention that Jodene Sparks is missing from this picture :(
Ahh Bucket-Head Wendy, will you ever stop luring sailors with your irresistable siren song so you can shanghi them? I sure hope not.
And that right there is comedy gold.-Salem
Did you know the average fish contains as much mercury as a rectal thermometer? Would you eat a rectal thermometer? I would. Ahh mercury, sweetest of all the transition metals...
Happy Birthday Mum
Yes, today is Mother Kahn's birthday. I'm mainly writing this as a reminder to myself, you see while you may be thinking "hey if her birthday is today, and your writing this today, why the hell do you need a reminder?". Well the answer is very simple, while i've never had a problem remembering that mum's birthday is the 15th, i've always had problems remembering what day it is today. Especially when I get home after work.
So my hope in writing this is that when I get home, not only will I remember that mum's birthday is on the 15th but that today is the 15th and that I should call her to wish her the afore mentioned Happy Birthday.
This may seem a little over the top but I do remember one year where all three of us (myself and my brothers) all forgot to ring her for her birthday. This did not make for a happy Mother Kahn.
So Happy 58th mum, and remember in two years we expect a big 60th bash, or at least a happy go lucky shindig.
So my hope in writing this is that when I get home, not only will I remember that mum's birthday is on the 15th but that today is the 15th and that I should call her to wish her the afore mentioned Happy Birthday.
This may seem a little over the top but I do remember one year where all three of us (myself and my brothers) all forgot to ring her for her birthday. This did not make for a happy Mother Kahn.
So Happy 58th mum, and remember in two years we expect a big 60th bash, or at least a happy go lucky shindig.
Thursday, 14 December 2006
A New Low
Just a quick one, a lot more information is available on Penny Arcade so I wont bother re-hashing however I did find this hilarious so I must at least express a little, Sony has been caught out. They have created several mediums where they pretended that they did not represent Sony and were just some randoms expressing how cool the PSP is. Here is a link to the blog they created http://www.alliwantforxmasisapsp.com/blog/default.aspx
On the blog you will notice that they have now apologised knowing that they have been caught. I believe it was the good people at somthingawful that picked it.
ROFL
-Kahn
On the blog you will notice that they have now apologised knowing that they have been caught. I believe it was the good people at somthingawful that picked it.
ROFL
-Kahn
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