Fatty Fat Fat!!!

In the news, firefighters in Lansing, Michigan used a forklift to remove a 900-pound man from his home. For those of you who couldn't be bothered converting, thats 410 Kg.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/14147898/detail.html

Now just to put things in perspective, i'm a fat guy. At 6'5" i'm also a tall guy. Which means I have space to hide the fat before it becomes noticable that I carry a lot of weight. I weigh 130 Kg and it's noticable that i'm overweight.

That aside it's not the guys weight (at least not just the guys weight) that has made me want to comment on this item of news. After all the man has Prader-Willi Syndrome, and that makes him feel hungry all the time. Yes he new and could have done more, eaten better, worked off what he would eat with excersise, but i'm willing to cut him a little more slack then I normally would.

Still, there is plenty of humor to be found in this story.

My favorite part is the nurse who called firefighters because, in her professional opinion, the 900-pound man “needed medical help.” Kudos to her. A lesser nurse might have missed the signs.

The man’s brother believes the 900-pound man used his credit card to have food delivered. I wonder how the delivery guy felt. I don’t mean to be cruel, but in that situation, is there any way to NOT feel like Han Solo visiting Jabba the Hutt? And how do you hand a pizza to a 900-pound guy? I’m no hero; I think I’d toss the food in his general direction, scream like a little girl, and jump out the second-story window. That’s how I roll.

And what is up with the pizza place that presumably delivered to him five times a day? Did it ever concern them that their Customer of the Month was two pizzas away from creating an event horizon in his bowels?
"Hey mister McCaul, got your pizza here."
"Just throw it into my gravity field I can't get up at the moment, I need to take a crap and each one weighs as much as a thousand suns."
Sure we may have found dark matter to fuel intergalactic travel but at what cost?

One of the neighbors was interviewed by the press. Her name is Cresha Outlaw. That’s right, her name is Outlaw. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH LANSING, MICHIGAN??? I’m not finding anything in this story that is making me want to visit. As for Ms Outlaw, I can't even fathom why they spoke with her, all she said was "I had no idea". I could have said that.

This is the sort of publicity that makes it hard to recruit firemen. It’s a noble profession, but there’s nothing good that happens after your boss says, “Kenny, get the forklift and a tarp"

I feel sorry for firemen in general. Every western society seems to have the same break up:

Ambulance - You guys get to deal with all the sick/injured people.
ambulance guys "makes sence it's what we trained for."

Police - You guys get to deal with all aspects of law breaking and some basic dispute resulution, yes even the dumb ass drunks.
police guys "can we hold our gun sideways to make it look cooler?"

Firemen - You get to drive around putting out fires in a big ass truck, you have to run into buildings that everyone else is fleeing and every instict you have is telling you "wrong way - go back!"
fire guys "Well it does sound fun, and we get to slide down those polls right?"
We haven't finished yet. You also have the smallest budget. You also have to get all the stupid jobs, if a cat is stuck up a tree you'll be there. If a possum falls down a drain pipe, you'll be there. If a tree falls on a house, you'll be there. If a fat guy needs to be cut out of his house, you'll be there. Basically if we don't know who to call, you get to fix it.