Say my name bitch! SAY IT!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA!

That felt reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaly good.

Ok, quick history for why this is here. Yesterday, I was hijacked at 3:55pm (5 minutes before I waltz out the door to go home) by... let's call him Lispy. Lispy is one of the directors here. He also happens to work in the civil sector. I am in the structural sector, in fact, I am all of the structural sector. So with 5 mintes of my day left, Lispy wants me to patch together a drawing for him. Not a structural drawing I might add, but a civil drawing. Now what the hell am I doing civil work for? I have 2 bridges and a large set of culverts that all needed to be out 2 months ago so I'm busy enough as it is. There are another 10 or 15 people in the civil sector that he could have asked to do this, so what the fuck am I working on a civil drawing for? Suffice to say I was seeing red and ended up leaving half an hour later than I was supposed to. Lispy is on thin ice with me right now, director or not.

This morning I was just waiting. Having completed the task Lispy had set me with the help of some people in the civil sector, I just knew that he'd try and find something wrong with it. Not today Lispy, not today. He seems to think that because I'm only technically a trainee but still doing the work of a lead drafter that I'm something less than human and should be punished. Not today Lispy, not today. He strolled into my cubical with that condescending look on his face that means he's about to start talking to me as if I have the brain capacity of a retarded kitten that's garroting itself with a ball of string. Not today Lispy, not today.

Here's how the conversation went. I've colour coded it for my own amusement and also to pinpoint the precise moment that I achieved total balance.

Lispy: "So I looked at that drawing and you haven't put in the contours that I asked you to."
Salem's Brain: Yeah bullshit I haven't you moron. If anything is missing it's because your trained monkeys in civil didn't give me the correct info or you expected me to read your mind and didn't bother to mention it.
Salem's Mouth: "Really? I followed the instructions that I got from the civil guys."
Lispy: "Well none of it's there. Open the file and I'll show you."
Salem's Brain: Oh here we go, you just want to get me to believe that even though you're an engineer, you can use AutoCAD as well as a trained drafter... didn't you try this yesterday? Oh well, good luck cock-bite, you're going to need it.
Salem's Mouth: "Not a problem. As you can see, I've bound in all the files that you requested."
Lispy: "So where are all the contours then?" (He's getting that pissed off tone at this point)
Salem's Brain: HAHA! Check and mate monkey-boy! So much for being a show off with ACAD. The layer's just turned off. Now, get the fuck out of my cube and back under your bridge dumb-ass!
Salem's Mouth: "You mean all these contours?" (Said while flicking on the required layer)
Lispy: "Never mind."
Salem, The One: "Would you like me to save you a copy with that layer turned on?"
Lispy: (No response as he retreats from my cube)

Not today Lispy, not today. It's Friday, my golden day when I am impervious to all attacks. You fail. Welcome to 'I win day' fucker.

-Salem
Zen. Today I am balanced, controlled and already out the door to start my weekend.