I really just wanted to test out Blogger's new video functionality. If this works, expect to see more cool clips in the future.
-Salem
If only he'd married Simon Pegg...
Friday, 31 August 2007
Wednesday, 29 August 2007
World Zombie News
I'm starting to feel like it's my duty to keep everyone informed about the latest developments in world zombie events. Today, we have a new movie coming out. You can read some interesting info about surrounding events here. Now this movie, The Zombie Diaries, is being promoted as a work of fiction, but I've heard on the grape-vine that this may be more accurately called a documentary. I'll be heading along to see if these guys have anything that I can incorporate into my own zombie plan.
-Salem
Stay tuned for the Late Zombie News at 10:00pm. I'm Ron Burgundy?
-Salem
Stay tuned for the Late Zombie News at 10:00pm. I'm Ron Burgundy?
Thursday, 23 August 2007
This Week in the News
Well as some of you may know it has been an interesting and hilarious week in the news. Here are just some of the fantastic things to have happened this week:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20347997/
A 60 year old Brisbane woman was killed by a pet camel that was given to her as a birthday present. Not getting the funny bit? Here you are the camel killed the woman by sitting on her in what is expected to have been a mating ritual.
The fate of the camel is not known.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
A 23 year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
It was suggested that the guy was either drunk, or on drugs, or at the very least an idiot. My money is on all three. Consider your own checkered past. There’s a good chance that you’ve been drunk at one time, on drugs at one time, and even an idiot at one time. But I’ll bet you never climbed into a bear’s cage. For that sort of thing, you usually need the trifecta: drunk, stupid, and on LSD.
I say “usually” because you don’t absolutely need to be drunk, stupid and on LSD. You could also be religious. There was a similar story last year, where a guy climbed into a lion’s cage and yelled something about God protecting him. That turned out to be bad luck. The guy managed to find the ONE lion that God loves more than people.
Now before you accuse me of making fun of religious people or start wondering why I am since I am a religious person, I am not saying that every believer will allow himself to be eaten by a lion. What I’m saying is that sometimes it could be a bear. And sometime they know not to be quite so zelous.
The best part of the bear-eats-man story is that the police found several cell phones and beer cans in the bear’s cage. That leads me to believe this could be a talking bear, and he’s a repeat offender.
Also curious in the article they mention as I have above the his clothes were off and intact, but make no further reference as to why that would be. I wonder what a talking bear offers to intice such actions.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20227400/site/newsweek/
In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."
Simply brilliant don't you think.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070820/od_afp/entertainmentbritain
A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf was embarrassed by the accident, yet he was not embarrassed by his regular act. This implies that there is a NON-embarrassing way to hump a vacuum cleaner in front of a crowd. If you aren’t curious to see Captain Dan’s act now, you’re dead inside.
I wonder if Captain Dan has trouble getting girls. On one hand, he’s famous. That must help. And the ladies do love a man with dust-free nuts. He’s got that working for him. On the other hand, when you have a Hoover doing a Clinton on your Johnson five nights a week, it sets the bar high. His girlfriends must be tired of hearing “Seriously. Have you even started yet?”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20347997/
A 60 year old Brisbane woman was killed by a pet camel that was given to her as a birthday present. Not getting the funny bit? Here you are the camel killed the woman by sitting on her in what is expected to have been a mating ritual.
The fate of the camel is not known.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
A 23 year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
It was suggested that the guy was either drunk, or on drugs, or at the very least an idiot. My money is on all three. Consider your own checkered past. There’s a good chance that you’ve been drunk at one time, on drugs at one time, and even an idiot at one time. But I’ll bet you never climbed into a bear’s cage. For that sort of thing, you usually need the trifecta: drunk, stupid, and on LSD.
I say “usually” because you don’t absolutely need to be drunk, stupid and on LSD. You could also be religious. There was a similar story last year, where a guy climbed into a lion’s cage and yelled something about God protecting him. That turned out to be bad luck. The guy managed to find the ONE lion that God loves more than people.
Now before you accuse me of making fun of religious people or start wondering why I am since I am a religious person, I am not saying that every believer will allow himself to be eaten by a lion. What I’m saying is that sometimes it could be a bear. And sometime they know not to be quite so zelous.
The best part of the bear-eats-man story is that the police found several cell phones and beer cans in the bear’s cage. That leads me to believe this could be a talking bear, and he’s a repeat offender.
Also curious in the article they mention as I have above the his clothes were off and intact, but make no further reference as to why that would be. I wonder what a talking bear offers to intice such actions.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20227400/site/newsweek/
In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."
Simply brilliant don't you think.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070820/od_afp/entertainmentbritain
A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf was embarrassed by the accident, yet he was not embarrassed by his regular act. This implies that there is a NON-embarrassing way to hump a vacuum cleaner in front of a crowd. If you aren’t curious to see Captain Dan’s act now, you’re dead inside.
I wonder if Captain Dan has trouble getting girls. On one hand, he’s famous. That must help. And the ladies do love a man with dust-free nuts. He’s got that working for him. On the other hand, when you have a Hoover doing a Clinton on your Johnson five nights a week, it sets the bar high. His girlfriends must be tired of hearing “Seriously. Have you even started yet?”
Part 1.5?
"You must kill him, he knows you too well and you will be useless to us if you cannot out maneuver our enemies. If you are useless, then it will be you that is left as food for the worms!"
A cold chill ran up his spine as she hissed out her words. What she was asking wasn't easy, but if he refused, they would hunt him down for eternity. He regretted that it had come to this. Being asked to hunt down the one man whom he had ever truly been able to call a friend brought a bitter coppery taste in his mouth.
"I shall go and find him."
"Be quick in you task and do not return until you can put his teeth into my hand."
He turned quickly, the folds of his cloak billowing behind him in his haste to be gone from the presence of this spiteful being. The flaps that served as the tent's entrance fell closed and the cold damp air of the night clung to him. What little heat he still held in his slender fame was leached out within moments. He did not shiver, the chilling of his flesh couldn't match the glacial freeze he felt in his heart. He knew what he had to do. Regrets would mean nothing to him if he was dead and he had felt nothing but the touch of death since that wretched woman had come to him three nights ago. Her promises had seemed to good to be true, then she had shown him and by then it was too late.
As he marched across the campsite, he could feel his sword hanging heavily against his leg. A few troops from the watch noticed his passing and saluted but he paid them little attention. Ten minutes later, he came to a small clearing. A single tent stood off to one side and a dim light could be seen within. He had expected nothing less, and was glad that the man inside was still awake. Without saying a word, he pulled aside the canvas and stepped in.
"I've been waiting for you."
The man on the bed had his sword out and resting across his lap. In one hand he still held the cloth that he had been using to clean the grime of battle from it's mirrored surface.
"Then you know why I'm here too I suppose?"
"You've been sent to kill me no doubt?"
"Will you ever be able to let me keep a thought to myself?"
"Not in this lifetime my friend."
The two looked at each other. Everything they had known up till now seemed to have been shattered. A few nights ago, they had been part of the same army, fighting for the same King but now they had been thrust into a different world. They both new their orders to kill each other were final and that if they were to go back, the other would have to die.
"Well then, if you know my mind so well you should be ready."
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
"Then let's get this over with. I don't want this to be any more painful than it has to be."
The two walked out of the tent and away from the edge of the camp. A few miles out, they both stopped. Reaching behind two different piles of rocks, they both pulled out small packs.
"You were right, this is going to be painful. I hate having to walk, we should have brought horses."
Pipe shook his head and sighed. With a slight smirk on his face, he looked over at his friend.
"What I'm worried about is how I'm going to manage to put up with your bad jokes for the rest of my damned life."
Xander laughed and threw his pack over his shoulder. Without glancing back, the two started walking towards the nearest town. How anyone had thought that they would have done anything other than what they had was a mystery to them both.
A cold chill ran up his spine as she hissed out her words. What she was asking wasn't easy, but if he refused, they would hunt him down for eternity. He regretted that it had come to this. Being asked to hunt down the one man whom he had ever truly been able to call a friend brought a bitter coppery taste in his mouth.
"I shall go and find him."
"Be quick in you task and do not return until you can put his teeth into my hand."
He turned quickly, the folds of his cloak billowing behind him in his haste to be gone from the presence of this spiteful being. The flaps that served as the tent's entrance fell closed and the cold damp air of the night clung to him. What little heat he still held in his slender fame was leached out within moments. He did not shiver, the chilling of his flesh couldn't match the glacial freeze he felt in his heart. He knew what he had to do. Regrets would mean nothing to him if he was dead and he had felt nothing but the touch of death since that wretched woman had come to him three nights ago. Her promises had seemed to good to be true, then she had shown him and by then it was too late.
As he marched across the campsite, he could feel his sword hanging heavily against his leg. A few troops from the watch noticed his passing and saluted but he paid them little attention. Ten minutes later, he came to a small clearing. A single tent stood off to one side and a dim light could be seen within. He had expected nothing less, and was glad that the man inside was still awake. Without saying a word, he pulled aside the canvas and stepped in.
"I've been waiting for you."
The man on the bed had his sword out and resting across his lap. In one hand he still held the cloth that he had been using to clean the grime of battle from it's mirrored surface.
"Then you know why I'm here too I suppose?"
"You've been sent to kill me no doubt?"
"Will you ever be able to let me keep a thought to myself?"
"Not in this lifetime my friend."
The two looked at each other. Everything they had known up till now seemed to have been shattered. A few nights ago, they had been part of the same army, fighting for the same King but now they had been thrust into a different world. They both new their orders to kill each other were final and that if they were to go back, the other would have to die.
"Well then, if you know my mind so well you should be ready."
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
"Then let's get this over with. I don't want this to be any more painful than it has to be."
The two walked out of the tent and away from the edge of the camp. A few miles out, they both stopped. Reaching behind two different piles of rocks, they both pulled out small packs.
"You were right, this is going to be painful. I hate having to walk, we should have brought horses."
Pipe shook his head and sighed. With a slight smirk on his face, he looked over at his friend.
"What I'm worried about is how I'm going to manage to put up with your bad jokes for the rest of my damned life."
Xander laughed and threw his pack over his shoulder. Without glancing back, the two started walking towards the nearest town. How anyone had thought that they would have done anything other than what they had was a mystery to them both.
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Part 1
The voice was full of rage. Full of righteous fury. Full of vengeance.
'Do you remember?'
He remembered. Centuries had past but he remembered.
Do you remember?
The youngest son, the spare spare.
Do you remember?
The third son, always weaker, always smaller.
Do you remember?
Nothing to inherit, nothing to offer, nothing to gain.
Do you remember?
Oh how he remembered.
The fear, the frustration. The Dreams. Like calls to like.
He remembered the day they met. So similar. He remembered the days that they planned. So elegant.
Oh how he remembered
The reflection in the mirror. Bloodied, broken. The praise of the father to the first. The sneer, the only acknowledgement for him. For the third.
If you beat a dog, you gain a beast. Fearsome. Mindless. A fate that he would not allow. The thought that was not his own. Monster you must be, lest monster you become.
Oh how he remembered
Like calls to like, and together dreams were made flesh. So simple, so elegant. The third became the second. The second became the first. No suspicion. No questions. How simple, how elegant. How vicious.
Do you remember?
He remembered. But that was a long time ago. When he was human. Centuries had past.
A moment had past.
He smiled. Cold. Vicious. Sadistic.
'Monster', the voice that was righteous had turned to dread.
'Monsters we are lest monsters we become. Your little tricks of faith will not aid you Hunter.'
With blinding speed he reach out. A short sharp snap sounded into the night.
Out of the shadows another steped and stood beside him looking down at the body with a smirk.
Like calls to like
'Well Xander, one less pain in the ass. Mind you I do miss having a good challenge like back in the olden days, remember them?'
'Yes, I do.'
'Do you remember?'
He remembered. Centuries had past but he remembered.
Do you remember?
The youngest son, the spare spare.
Do you remember?
The third son, always weaker, always smaller.
Do you remember?
Nothing to inherit, nothing to offer, nothing to gain.
Do you remember?
Oh how he remembered.
The fear, the frustration. The Dreams. Like calls to like.
He remembered the day they met. So similar. He remembered the days that they planned. So elegant.
Oh how he remembered
The reflection in the mirror. Bloodied, broken. The praise of the father to the first. The sneer, the only acknowledgement for him. For the third.
If you beat a dog, you gain a beast. Fearsome. Mindless. A fate that he would not allow. The thought that was not his own. Monster you must be, lest monster you become.
Oh how he remembered
Like calls to like, and together dreams were made flesh. So simple, so elegant. The third became the second. The second became the first. No suspicion. No questions. How simple, how elegant. How vicious.
Do you remember?
He remembered. But that was a long time ago. When he was human. Centuries had past.
A moment had past.
He smiled. Cold. Vicious. Sadistic.
'Monster', the voice that was righteous had turned to dread.
'Monsters we are lest monsters we become. Your little tricks of faith will not aid you Hunter.'
With blinding speed he reach out. A short sharp snap sounded into the night.
Out of the shadows another steped and stood beside him looking down at the body with a smirk.
Like calls to like
'Well Xander, one less pain in the ass. Mind you I do miss having a good challenge like back in the olden days, remember them?'
'Yes, I do.'
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