Always outnumbered, never outgunned!

Well, we have a new guy starting today. He's Civil. I don't mean civil 'he's quite polite', I mean civil 'he's one of them'. I'm a structural drafter and in my office, that makes me a minority. There's one structural engineer/drafter and me. That's it. The other 10 or so drafters are civil. I suppose I could add the civil engineers to that, but I don't need that.

In time, I hope to elevate my singularity to a more lofty perch. I know that there's another structural guy, but he's first and foremost an engineer. What I'm hoping is that by being the only dedicated structural drafter, I will be able to pick and choose what goes on around me much like the old kings of France. I figure my blood line is pretty close so why the hell not?

Since I know that this is only for my amusement and doesn't mean much to anyone else, I've decided to sweeten the deal for you. Here's some Jessica Alba.

-Salem
Enjoy!

My new favorite attack!

You cant see this, but I'm trying as hard as I can to cockpunch you with my mind.

-Salem
Keep staring and it'll be you I try this on!

Magic Hands! (and they're not mine for a change)

Ok, this is another one I found on Fark, but it's so good, I had to put it up. On a recent trip to Albania, George W. had his watch stolen by someone in a crowd of 'supporters'. I'm so glad that it didn't happen here or we'd be up for another 50 years of convict jokes. Anyhow, here's the video footage. He loses his watch at about the 1 minute mark, so watch carefully:

Bonus time! The White House have claimed that the presidents watch wasn't stolen! No, he just very quickly took it off and put it in his pocket so as not to catch on anyone or anything in the crowd. Wow! This guy is beter than Clinton and his sax any day. He can undo the buckle on his watch using the same hand that the watch is strapped to!!! Do another trick Mr. President, pleeeeeeeease?

Fark-tastic!

I don't know what I like more about Fark, the articles or the blurbs that they get posted under. This is going to be an on-going list of some of my all-time faves.

• A protein in squids can bend light, warp space and time, transport spice
• Greenville SC kills reading program, keeps pizza party: Why is our children fat?
• Hundreds run through San Francisco in gorilla suits to protect endangered species, scare bejesus out of Charlton Heston
• Australian entrepreneurs selling sand to Saudi Arabia. Ice to Eskimos deal being investigated by drug squad
• Music fans to compete in the World Air Guitar Championships, after which entrants will snort baking soda and make out with pretend groupies
• Jessica Alba wants to have one-night stands because she loves to experiment with sex. The Sun is there, along with an endless line of guys
• Here comes the science: people who play video games are better at driving, surgery, killing hordes of lurching demons
• Cop charged with having sex with 14-year-old prostitute; reportedly scheduled to be shot soon by Robert DeNiro
• The saddest and most heroic wedding photo you may ever see
• U.S. tourist killed by rogue gymnast in Romania. Heh, heh, just kidding. It was a bear
• Australian woman humped to death
• Best. perp. name. ever
• Satan purchases ad space to vent his frustration with local church (w/photo)

I'm going to try very hard not to get carried away. Let's see how it goes.

-Salem
It's not just news, it's something else!

American logic strikes again.

Here's an article that highlights why Australians have such a low opinion of Americans in general. I think you should read it very carefully.

Casino bans author of Word for being lucky

Submitted by Paul McNamara on
Thu, 06/07/2007 - 2:42pm.

Gambling is for suckers ... and I love it anyway.

But the truth of the first part is what makes this next part so unfathomable: The casino moguls at Harrah's Entertainment have barred Richard "Quiet Lion" Brodie - best known as the original author of Microsoft Word - from gambling in or entering any of its properties, including Caesar's Palace, home of the World Series of Poker.

Brodie's crime?

No, he didn't cheat.

He's been too lucky.

Brodie explains on his blog:

On May 10, Harrah's sent certified letters to several high rollers informing them that their business was no longer wanted at Caesars Palace or any of the other Harrah's properties in Nevada, California, and Arizona. I was one of them. I called the office of Tom Jenkins, regional vice president, and got a call back from Terry Byrnes, the VP of customer service. He told me I was being 86ed because they couldn't figure out how to make a profit off me.

Now understand, the only games I play are poker and video poker. In poker, the house makes a 100% guaranteed profit straight off the top. In video poker, the house controls every aspect of the game: the pay tables, the amount of the house edge, and the promotions and incentives they offer. There is no way to use skill - or even cheat - to beat video poker. You can't count cards. You can't peek at the dealer's hole card. It's a machine. The best you could possibly hope for is to play computer-perfect, which I don't, and even if that were possible the machine still has a maximum theoretical payout chosen by the casino. The only thing the casino can't control is luck. One reason I like video poker is because you can get lucky and win. You hit a royal flush every 40,000 hands or so. If you're lucky enough to hit two, you're ahead! If you hit three, you're ahead for a long time!

Boy, have I been lucky at Harrah's.

I hit four huge royal flushes in the last year at three of the Las Vegas Harrah's properties. Not surprisingly, I'm ahead, although I've put 80% of it back. This seems to rub them the wrong way. But I have trouble imagining the thought process that would cause someone to decide that kicking out one of your most loyal customers is an appropriate solution to the problem of him having extremely good luck. If they think the machines are too loose, make them tighter. If they think they are giving me too much in comps, give less. They control every aspect of the game. Except luck. And kicking out players who have been lucky makes about as much sense as banning people from playing the lottery because they win it.

Doesn't make a lick of sense. Of course, it just goes to show that the private interests who control gambling in this country are every bit as unprincipled and hypocritical as the government interests who share that control.

You need to be a poker player to understand Brodie's anguish at being denied his seat at the World Series of Poker.

But you don't even need to be a gambler to understand the stupidity and injustice here.

And here's the source: Network World

Now, I understand that there are a few smart people over in the U.S. but this just grinds my gears. Don't mess with a guy that's got a spot at the World Poker Championship! Actually, just don't mess with people who play poker. It's just not right.

-Salem
Sore losers? Nah.... couldn't be. It's a casino, they never lose!